it’s not just semantics :)

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I lead a small group at my church for “young ladies” – most of them are women aged 19-29, a few maybe older, a few maybe younger.  In between curriculums, we occasionally like to watch sermons on video, and we have a few favorite speakers that I keep “on hand”.

In one of our favorite in-between-curriculum-sermon DVDs, the speaker mentioned a certain “roadblock” or “hindrance” several times.  It wasn’t even the point of the message, but it seemed that she kept on saying it, using it as an example, mentioning it in passing on the way to the real point…. I’m going to skip naming “it” here. I don’t want you to get “hung up” on an issue and miss the forest for the tree.  Just “fill in the blank” yourself today – what hindrance to Christian growth comes to mind right now for you?  (Is it alcohol? Pre-marital sex? Coarse language? Fill-In-The-Blank?) Got “it” in your mind? Okay, then – that’s the one.

When the video came to a close, I brought “it” up. An issue that touched all of us in that room in some way, an issue that one probably wishes to avoid in the presence of the pastor’s wife, but I jumped in anyway.  Usually, its best to “tell the truth and shame the devil”.   One of these ladies had an insight/wisdom to share: she said that if you have to JUSTIFY an action or behavior, it is most likely an indication that you are being convicted of it in your spirit. How true, and it applies to everything we do. The Holy Spirit is a gift, and we need to follow His guidance and seek His guidance in all things.  However, like a fly gets caught in the spider’s web, we can get caught up in “words” and “perceptions” and “semantics” and become stuck.  Let’s clarify a few important distinctions to be made as we navigate through life, avoiding as many hindrances, pitfalls, roadblocks as we can:

JUSTIFICATION comes from our sinful self nature I’m not talking about the justification of sin by grace – I’m talking about the homophone justification, where we justify our own sin.  Where we tell ourselves that “it isn’t SO bad”, “it could be worse” or we make ourselves feel better by comparing ourselves to others (“I might have done THIS, but at least I didn’t do THAT”).  Truth is the only measure – the only comparing we should be doing is ourselves to the Word of God.  If you find yourself justifying your actions like this, that should be a red flag letting you know that something is not right.  Backtrack your steps.  Go to the Bible.  Don’t be afraid to tell the Lord that you messed up (He already knows). Don’t be afraid to tell the people around you (the ones who are watching you as their example, the ones who may be hurt by your actions) that you messed up.  Don’t stop at the words – turn around, repent, and get on with the business of being better.

CONDEMNATION comes from our enemy the devil Romans 8:1-2 teaches us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death” (NKJV). Condemnation is when an adverse or unfavorable judgement has been passed on you.  Condemnation is what you feel when you make a mistake, commit a sin, and the enemy of your soul (the devil) is right there to tell you: “you aren’t worthy, you aren’t lovable, you are bad”.  The devil wants you ashamed.  The devil wants you to hide.  The devil wants you to keep secrets.  He wants to condemn you and block your view of your Heavenly Father, who is standing arms wide open ready to love us in spite of our shortcomings.

CONVICTION comes from the Holy Spirit and is meant to gently guide us back to truth and transparency Hebrews 12:6-11 states, “My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God” (MSG).  While you feel the conviction, take every opportunity to feel the LOVE of God! If He didn’t love you, He wouldn’t care whether you were involved in sin or not. If He didn’t love you, He would leave you to your own devices.  When you feel convicted, feel deeply LOVED by the ultimate parent, who would rather you go through a moment of discomfort than an eternity of separation from the truth and the protection He offers.

WISE JUDGEMENT is an ability to see rightly and still operate in the love of Christ The word “judgement” has almost become a four-letter word in Christian circles as much is it in “worldly” circles. No one wants to be called “judgmental”, and we might even avoid telling the truth just to avoid being called “judgmental”.  Get over it!  The ability to judge rightly is a gift.  Determining a person’s worthiness by what you judge is being judgmental. Please appreciate the difference. Zechariah 8:16 states, “These are the things which you should do: speak the truth to one another; judge with truth and judgment for peace in your gates”.  Do not allow the fear of being called “judgmental” keep you from speaking the truth in love to yourself and to those around you.  Do not let the fear of being “judged” keep you from receiving truth from the Bible and from godly people around you.

Refuse to be distracted by condemnation (that’s from the enemy – reject it).  Refuse to be distracted by a wrong view of conviction/correction (that’s from the Lord – welcome it). Refuse to be distracted by a misunderstanding of judgement (it IS okay for one to recognize right and wrong.  It is NOT okay for one to determine a person’s value based on their behavior). 

The word of God is a “light to our feet and lamp to our path”(Psalm 119:105). The ability to apply it correctly and continue to grow in grace is a TREASURE, though it doesn’t always come easily.  Praying that you recognize the Light and continue to press forward!

❤ Jennifer

pay no attention to that man behind the curtain :)

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Well, that’s how I wanted it to be this morning as I sat in my usual spot in the front row. Pastor’s wife, full of faith and confidence and spiritual example to the congregation…. and bawling her eyes out throughout the entire service.  To be honest, I’ve felt it off and on all week.  One minute, I’m strong and “it’s going to be fine” and “God’s grace  is sufficient” and “the Lord is my refuge” and all the right confessions of faith.  Projecting the “right image”. The next minute, I’m a puddle and I’m crying and I’m heartbroken for what was lost.  As much as I know the Lord is able to restore and rebuild and heal, I know that His faithfulness cannot be judged by my circumstances.  God is STILL faithful, ALWAYS faithful, no matter what I can see in the natural.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a green curtain to hide behind in my front row seat. So I cried, right out there in the open, in the front row, raw and exposed.

What happened this week?  Hurricane Irma.  All over our newly renovated-paid-in-cash children’s wing.

Oh y’all, trust me.  It’s SO MUCH WORSE than it looks, honestly.  I know it just looks like a hole.  I know what you are thinking: “Put a tarp on it” (we did), “Hire a roofer” (we will), “don’t you have insurance?” (we do).  I’ll spare you all the details, partly because I just can’t form the words without crying so hard I can’t see the computer keyboard. It’s just worse.

I’m mourning today. I’m mourning the loss of that beautiful new room.  It cost us so much more than money.  It cost a year of our lives. Hard work, hard people, hard labor. Days I thought would nearly kill us.  Days were I learned from first hand experience that people actually do leave the church over the color of the carpet. Honest promise – before 2016, I thought those were just stories people made up, some kind of ridiculous exaggerations to distract us from the work.  Now I know – the struggle was real.  (We didn’t actually lose anyone, but it wasn’t because the devil didn’t try).

I’m mourning the loss of what my flesh counted as provision.  We raised the cash for that renovation.  New sound, new lighting, new computers, new furniture, new carpet, the best we could do and cash every step of the way. That felt good.  That felt like blessing.  It felt like the blessing of obedience. (Do you see this conversation going downhill?  I’ll continue so you don’t miss it….) It felt like security.  It felt like a reward. It felt like, “since y’all did this, the Lord will do this“.  That felt like sunshine.  That felt like winning.  It felt like getting ahead. It felt like being the “head and not the tail” (in my misguided way of translating Deut. 28:13 in this situation).

Really, it wasn’t ANY of those things.  You know what it was?  It was a building. It wasn’t the sole evidence of God’s faithfulness.

What I want is to connect all these symmetrical lines in my life, tying my world up in pretty finished bows.  I like a finished project. I like a beginning and an end.  I like feeling the ground beneath my feet. When something is unfinished or unexplain-able, it throws me off balance – but only for a minute.  Then I remember.

I remember heroes of faith from the Bible who struggled AND were blessed. I remember that one of Jesus’ promises was that we would have tribulation in this world (John 16:33) AND that we would never be left alone (John 14:18). I remember Habakkuk writing,

“Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation” (Hab. 3:17-18)

That’s not really the verse that I wanted to write today – it doesn’t exactly draw the line from tragedy to comfort in the way my flesh wants it to.  Want to know what the truth is? The truth is, God’s faithfulness cannot be measured by human’s standards. On my fantastic days, God is faithful.  On my terrible days, God is faithful. His character is not defined or determined by my feelings.  I did feel good when we finished that wing (because feeling good feels good) and I praised God for being faithful (because He is faithful).  Where I “went south” was connecting my fleeting good feelings to God’s consistent goodness.I’m not only reminded in this moment that God is good, I experience the ultimate comfort because I know that God never changes, even if my circumstances change.  I will JOY in the God of my salvation!

It’s true that I am a person of faith. When I’m projecting the right “pastor’s wife image” there in the front row, when I’m smiling and my mascara is on my lashes (and not running in hot streaks down my cheeks), I’m operating in faith and trust in the Lord.  The congregation can look my direction and feel good that all is right with the world because I’m smiling at the right times and I’m allowing a few tears at the right times (oh the pressure).

It’s also true that I am a PERSON. When I am bawling out crying and I look like I just lost my best friend, I’m STILL OPERATING IN FAITH AND TRUST IN THE LORD. Mercifully, there are dear ones in our congregation (God bless them!) who get their confidence from the Lord. They realize that even though I’m the pastor’s wife, I’m still a fellow pilgrim on the journey forward.  These dear people know that even when I’m not projecting the right “pastor’s wife image”.  They know I can be sad AND full of faith all at the same time.

It’s such a relief to be able to be understood when I say, “I KNOW it’s only stuff. I KNOW that God will restore. It’s just that I liked that stuff and I didn’t want it to be destroyed by a hurricane”.  Some people understood – and when they hugged my neck, I could tell they felt just the same way.

This is one of my favorite psalms, and it seems to fit just right here:

“Blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
They make it a spring;
The rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
Each one appears before God in Zion” (84:5-7)

Passing through the valleys, being refreshed by the rain and scorched by the sun and moving forward in spite of feelings….. I might make it with the occasional mascara streak and I’ll definitely make it with smile wrinkles too, but I’m gonna make it.  We all will.

Standing on the promises of God – and I mean ALL of the promises, not just the ones that make my flesh feel good – is a treasure.  God is good, whatever your circumstances.  Praying you find a reason to praise our amazingly kind and constant Heavenly Father – even if it’s a “in spite of” praise – today

Jennifer ❤

 

 

“everything fits” or “Christmas in July” :)

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Maybe because they were so close in age, my husband and I referred to our three as “the babies” and the affectionate term stayed. Now that they are 18 and 19 and 19, well, they are are still “the babies” – I guess they always will be!

When the babies first started helping in the kitchen, we started what we called “family dinner” once a week.  For “family dinner”, everyone made whatever their own favorite dish or dessert was at the time, or the most recent item they had learned to cook.  No rules – everyone added the ingredients they needed for their contribution to the grocery list, and we all cooked together.  Got to admit it – we had some weird combinations at those “mini-potluck” meals!  (Maybe this explains why you’ve never seen a picture of my dinner posted on Facebook, LOL! I would have gotten some raised eyebrows at the answer to the “what’s for dinner?” question if anyone outside of my 5 asked!). Maybe they were combos that one wouldn’t see at a restaurant, there was no “theme” to the meal, but we loved it.  The theme, I guess if you need one, was “things we loved”.  Remembering how picky the twins were in those days, it honestly worked out well – everyone cleaned their plate at the “family dinner”!

(p.s. this is NOT a picture of “family dinner” at my house, LOL!)

Had to smile when someone at church asked me today what was for Christmas lunch at our house… Want to know?  Michael and I had white chicken chili, and the babies had chicken alfredo (with angel hair pasta instead of alfredo noodles, naturally). When the garlic toast went in the oven, Jacob asked if he could make “pigs in a blanket” to go along with lunch.  Of course, he can!  What else would go along with a lunch of chili and alfredo if not “pigs in a blanket”? 😉 So, that was Christmas lunch – everyone had their favorite, and we loved it.

It’s a silly tradition, but it brought an unexpected lesson: we all have gifts to share.    We didn’t put “rules” on their offering, we just let it be. (Sometimes, the meal was brownies, crescent hot dogs, green bean casserole, and bacon. Weird, but we rolled with it and we enjoyed it. Maybe I could have done without the “beanies weenies and clam chowder” night, TBH 😉 ).  What we learned (completely by accident) is that all of our offerings are valuable. When we share those gifts, they all fit together somehow. Just like our gifts in the body of Christ – here’s what Paul wrote:

So here’s what I want you to do. When you gather for worship, each one of you be prepared with something that will be useful for all: Sing a hymn, teach a lesson, tell a story, lead a prayer, provide an insight. (1 Cor. 14:26 MSG)

You might be asking yourself: What is my gift?  What is my talent? Where do I fit in? My advice: just get started!  Do what you can with what you have.  You’ll see that God will bless it.  He will grow you and He will grow your gift and He will bless others around you with your gift.  You might think it’s silly, but you never know who might just need it…… Just like we needed Jacob’s “pigs in a blanket” to go along with our chicken alfredo 🙂

Realizing you have a gift to share, and recognizing the opportunity to share it?  That’s a treasure, and I’m praying that you find a place where your gift fits today! (hint: it very nearly fits anywhere!)

Jennifer ❤

 

Back in February 1997….

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom…. it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us…..

Charles Dickens’ opening line in “A Tale of Two Cities” described the moments perfectly, though  in my world, those moments don’t necessarily happen simultaneously.  On this day, the “worst”, the “darkness”, the “despair”, the “nothing” was all together – the return of my symmetry with the “best”, the “light”, the “hope”, the “everything” would come a few months later.

In February 1997, I was about four months pregnant and loving it. Pregnancy agreed with me.  I had a miracle inside, and even though it wasn’t a secret, it felt like it in a way.  All mine, for now – I would share the baby later – but today, it was all mine and I felt a smile inside all the time. Best, light, hope, everything before us. No words express it all, really.

One Saturday night, I started bleeding.  Panicked, I woke my husband.  We called the doctor, who advised me to stay in bed and call first thing in the morning. We called first thing in the morning, Sunday morning. Doctor said for me to stay in bed all day, and come to the office first thing Monday. I was frantic and I was sad.  Worst, darkness, despair, nothing before us. Really, I had no idea what this event might mean, but “for this child I had prayed” (1 Samuel 1:27), and nothing escaped the Lord’s notice.  He was forming this baby in the womb and He KNEW this baby, even now (Jeremiah 1:5).  I went to the Lord and to His word for comfort.

I’m not a “random” person – I’ve heard the same stories you have about the Bible falling open to the right page at the right moment to the right verse.  I believe those stories – it just isn’t how the Lord deals with me.  He knows my type-A-ness and He parents me in a way specifically suited for me.  On this night, though, I couldn’t hear and I couldn’t see through my tears, I just held my Bible, and opened it.

I saw Isaiah 44:3 and the following verses immediately.  When I read that the Lord said that He “will pour My Spirit on your descendants And My blessing on your offspring”, I felt an immediate peace.  I accepted this promise, leapt off the page, as mine, and went back to bed.  I can’t remember how I slept, but I know the Lord gave me sleep that night (that’s a promise too – Psalm 127:2).  We went straight to the doctor, first thing in the morning.  She listened for a heartbeat, and we were listening too, barely able to concentrate for the sound of our own rushed heartbeats, Michael’s and mine. Oh relief! She found it – can you hear that, there it is, the baby’s heartbeat and it’s strong!  Mercifully, the baby was fine.  Thank You, Jesus, the baby was fine!  Once again: best, light, hope, everything before us!  The symmetry I long for restored.

In February 1997, we only knew about one baby.  Back in the dark ages, doctor’s offices didn’t always have their own ultrasound machines.  In March we’d be sent to the hospital for the one ultrasound our insurance would cover.  Hopefully we’d be able to find out the gender while the technician counted fingers and toes and measured limbs.  Imagine our surprise: it wasn’t only one baby, but two!  Two boys! I forgot all about the scary weekend last month – I had two boys!

Some weeks after the twins were born, I was grabbing minutes (or seconds) here and there to pray and get into the Bible. One morning, I remembered that verse that had given me peace – what was it again?  I remembered Isaiah, and I remembered that I had written “baby 2/97” beside it. Flipping pages and finding it, I read it again and took the whole passage in:

“One will say, I am the Lord’s; Another will call himself by the name of Jacob”.  It still takes my breath away  to read it, and let me tell you why: Baby A (the firstborn) is Tyler, and Baby B (the second) – his name is Jacob.  Reading it right off the page, I realized: on that evening, comforting me, the Lord didn’t only know the child that I knew about – He knew that there were two of them, and He even knew their names.  How precious.  How humbling.

Later, the doctor would explain to me why she had me stay home instead coming to her right away: she “knew” that the baby was already lost she said, and she wanted to give me one more night’s sleep before breaking my heart with the worst possible news. Funny, how we humans explain things.  She was giving me one more night.  Really, it was God who was giving me one more night – one more opportunity to hear His voice and experience His peace.  He knew that this memory would sustain and encourage for years to come.  It was His gift, and it continues even still.

To know His voice, you must know His Word – He never contradicts Himself.  Read the Word on the good days, so you can remember the Word on the hard days. I can look back at this and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord is real and alive and present and invested in me.  Can I tell you one more thing about the Lord before we close today?  He’s “no respecter of persons” (Acts 10:34).  That means that He loves everyone the same and shows no partiality.  He doesn’t only speak to me through His Word – He speaks to all of us.

Knowing how He speaks and being able to receive His comfort at just the right time is a treasure – and being able to remember it and understand it better the second time is beyond expression. Praying that you find a treasure in His Word today –

Jennifer ❤

 

As it turns out, I like to dawdle :)

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Anyone who knows me will tell you: I like to be productive. Relaxing isn’t really my thing.  It’s hard for me to “turn off”. Dawdling? Lingering, dallying, taking one’s time, being slow and idle wasting time – no, not for me. Definitely no.

Ecclesiastes 3 teaches us,

‘For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.

I like it. I like everything having a specific time.  I like routines and procedures and hard work and accomplishments and completion.  I like a beginning and an end.   Getting to check an item off my to-do list? Yes! “Oh rapture, oh bliss!” (sorry – obscure Gilbert and Sullivan reference there. The three people who got it enjoyed it!) 

Well, the other morning, in the middle of all my routines, I surprised myself. Michael and I had been on vacation (cabin in the middle of nowhere, no cell phones, no wi-fi, no TV, it was glorious!) and were set to leave the next day.  I know how long it takes me to get ready: 1 hour, 45 minutes.  It takes me that long every day, and trust me: the queen of routine has it timed down to the last minute.  Michael decided we would leave at 5:00am,  so we would miss traffic in both of the major cities we’d hit on the way home.  Okay, so quick math: I need to get up at 3:15 if I’m going to be ready. Yikes – 3:15? Even for an early bird like me, that’s crazy. If I skip my makeup and flat iron, maybe I can shave a few minutes off.  Who am I kidding  – I can skip make-up, but the flat iron is a non-negotiable.  Alright, I’ll set the alarm for 3:45 (still crazy, but less crazy, right?) and if I’m not ready, I’ll put make-up on in the car when the sun comes up.

The alarm went off at 3:45.  Lord Jesus help me, the alarm went off at 3:45.  Well, no time to dawdle (and I don’t like to dawdle anyway, right?), so I better get going.  Shower. Blow-dry. Dress. Flat iron. Don’t know what time it is, but Michael isn’t up yet, so I’ll start make-up and get as far as I can. All done! Made it in plenty of time – Michael is still in bed! Pack my morning stuff in my bag, suitcase is already packed from the night before.  Walk out to grab my phone and check the time.

It’s 4:15.  Yes, 4:15am. Seriously – I did ALL of that in 30 minutes?  How is this possible?  

While I was waiting out 45 minutes I had to spare, I considered the difference between this morning and every other morning of my adult life. Today, I used my time to shower-blow dry-flat iron-make up exclusively. What did I do yesterday and every other day?  Well, as it turns out: I was dawdling and loving it! Every other morning: I get up, and think about my day.  Pray. I exercise. Pray the workout would be over (not my most spiritual moment, just being honest). I go to the shower, and sit on the cool tile checking Facebook while I wait for hot water.  I find a show on Netflix and read closed captioning while I blow dry.  I read a little bit, I pray a little bit.  I eat breakfast (either a banana-spinach smoothie or Special K red berries, same every day).  I put make-up on. I cuddle my puppy (she has no delusions about herself like I did: she loves a dawdle and has no shame about it!). I look at the time – once I get to this point, I need about 10 minutes to dress and flat-iron, and I have plenty of time actually, so I read a little more, check a little more Facebook, pray a little more, think a little more, gather a little more quiet.

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I love those first hours of the day – there’s no schedule and there doesn’t have to be.  There’s no student or friend or family member with any demands on my time.  It’s not time to clock in at work yet.  It’s a wonderful time to dawdle and apparently I love to dawdle at the right time! There is a time for everything, even for dawdling – what a surprise!

What surprises you about your personality?  Ask the Lord to reveal to you something you didn’t know about yourself – something enjoyable you didn’t know about yourself. He delights in you – did you know that?  He is here to offer correction, but He is also here to enjoy a relationship with you, just the way you are!  Realizing that I like a daily dawdle was a nice surprise – and I’ll enjoy it a little more now, no shame!

Knowing that I can actually get ready in 30 minutes doesn’t make a difference: I’m gonna get up early tomorrow morning and dawdle all over again. I’m going to be thankful to the Lord for the realization that this time is a luxury, an unaccounted for gift, a “time to keep” like Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 3. Bonus for me: because I’m getting started early, I have lots more day left to enjoy and accomplish!

A “time to keep” is a treasure! No matter what your routines, I’m praying that you find a time to slow down and enjoy the presence of the Lord!

Jennifer ❤

sing it loud so I can hear you :)

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After work this week, I was walking out to my car, just like every day around 4:30.  It’s funny how we can get into a practice, perform the same actions every day, get immersed in the tedious little details, routine follows routine, until we don’t really notice.…. Want to know what I noticed today?

I noticed a co-worker walking out to the parking lot with her little ones following close behind.  Toddling under the weight of backpacks, twittering and chatting about – well, I wasn’t close enough to hear words, I just heard the timbre of little voices.  It made me remember when I had three following me around, chatting and trading stories, and falling asleep in the backseat and singing songs and sticking their tongues out (let’s be honest – they were littles just like every other little out there!) and reading books and reciting memory verses. I loved those days!

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We had a routine – every morning, I told them the same verses:

“Work heartily as unto the Lord and not unto men, because you serve the Lord Jesus Christ and you will receive your reward from Him” Colossians 3:23

“Do all things without complaining that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” Philippians 2:14-15

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly” Proverbs 18:24

Every morning a routine.  Some mornings, not much discussion.  Some mornings, a lot of discussion.  Shared examples from life yesterday.  Shared ways we succeeded in living up to these verses,  and we shared ways we should have done better. Every morning, a blessing and prayer.  Every morning the same simple reminders: Work hard. Be purposeful in dedicating daily activity to the Lord.  Be friendly. Shine like a light in a dark world.

After remembering our rides to school, I went back further and remembered when they were babies and toddlers.  I used to sing to them a song and the words went, “I’ll love you forever and forever, love you with all my heart.  Love you whenever we’re together, love you when we’re apart. ” Those words were so true and still are ❤ The next lyric in that song didn’t make complete sense to me until later.  I’ll circle back 🙂

I miss them being little, those precious days, but can I tell you one more thing? I wouldn’t trade today for anything in the world, honest promise.  I love them being grown and coming into themselves, these precious days.

Now my three are growing older: figuring out who they are and Whose they are, finding and following their God-given callings, developing their unique gifts, making efforts to walk worthy of their calling.  Maybe those little reminders are in there somewhere, little treasures I was able to tuck into their pockets before they left me. And the next lyric in that song? It makes sense today. Here it is: “And when at last I find you, your song will fill me up: sing it loud so I can hear you. Make it easy to be near you, and the things you do endear you to me….”

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“When at last I find you” – developing into godly young men and lady, my knowing them better now than I did when they were tiny. “Your song will fill me up” – listening to their songs being sung to the Lord, little echoes of my song coming back to my mother’s heart. “Sing it loud so I can hear you” – praying that they’ll always be close enough for me to hear them, even across states, maybe even across continents. Safe enough to sing, and close enough to the Lord to have a reason to sing. “The things you do endear you to me” – my three babies (I guess I’ll always call them “the babies”) growing more precious to me daily, loving them more deeply with every step they take on their own. So proud. Heart bursting.

Those common every-day type of days are easy to forget – but it’s in those common every-day type of days that the real work is accomplished.  Let’s get into a practice, perform the same actions every day, get immersed in the tedious little details, routine follows routine; and as often as we can remember, let’s notice and cherish. Opportunities to invest in those closest to you, to sing and recite until new songs echo back into your life from those loved sources? That’s a treasure ❤

Thanks for listening to my song, my babies. Thanks for hearing.  Thanks a MILLION TIMES OVER for singing your song back to me.  Sing it loud so I can hear you. You three, my greatest gifts, my most prized treasures. I love you so ❤

praying that you have someone to invest in, or someone to invest in you today!

Jennifer

 

mirror, mirror on the facebook wall

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Everyone  loves to see what everyone else is doing, huh? It’s amazing, really, how connected we are today – and at the same time, how connected we AREN’T…. We get caught up in it easily through social media – stalking profiles and scrolling through your homepage or tweeting or checking out pictures on instagram, we see what is the newest and best.  It’s fun to catch up with friends (I have these accounts too, so don’t think this is a call to deactivate your fb account, okay?), but there is a line that we’ve crossed somewhere along the way.

One favorite favorite paradox is “TBH”: “to be honest”.  Can you think of many people whose profile is truly honest?  We post the snapshots we want people to see – toddler hugging his new puppy (love!), but we left out the toddler having a temper fit in the grocery aisle because mom didn’t buy the candy.  How about the picture of that delicious dinner (yummy!)?  We didn’t follow it up with a picture of the 7-year-old gagging over the broccoli and being sent to bed early for refusing to clean his plate, did we?  Picture of the engagement ring (so exciting!), but not the picture of the fight over the budget.

I’m so grateful that I didn’t have to raise get married or raise children or have birthday parties on facebook.  When I got married, EVERY SINGLE album was EXACTLY like EVERY other album.  True story – ask anyone who got married in the 1990s and here’s the line up of pictures: bride alone, groom alone, bride with parents, groom with parents, bride with groomsmen, groom with bridesmaids, couple with bride’s family, couple with groom’s family, couple looking at camera, couple looking at each other, close up of hands with rings….. Raising kids on facebook? Well, I would have been quickly labeled “worst mother of the year” on a daily. The twins’ first birthday was a quiet family affair – there was no “smash cake” (we didn’t have those back in the dark ages), but we took lots of pictures and shared lots of laughs. Honest promise, one of my favorite days!  Trust me, no one is making a pinterest board out of my wedding album or my kids’ toddler years, but even still they were such precious days ❤

Along with the social media comes a certain amount of competition that can easily become unhealthy if one isn’t careful.  We were talking about this in my small group not too long ago, and one young woman said, “We shouldn’t compare our reality with someone else’s highlight reel.” Amen.  Truer words were rarely spoken.  Let those sink in for a minute: “We shouldn’t compare our reality with someone else’s highlight reel.”  Unfortunately, this generation, raised on social media, has grown up with everyone’s highlight reels. Along with it, came the pressure to create our own “highlight reel” to keep up.  If our facebook wall wasn’t as perfect as everyone else’s, well, then we were being cheated or were missing out somehow.

I don’t have to tell you that comparison is dangerous. The only healthy measure is the truth found in the Word of God.  In the Message translation, James 1:21-27 reads like this: “In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Acton what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.  Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived.”  The KJV (maybe more familiar to a few of us) says, “but be ye doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves”.

Looking into social media can make you feel like a failure at times – I can’t even live up to some of these pinterest-worthy posts – but looking into the Word of God and continuing in the truth He has given to us can make you confident in the precious person of God that you are.  James says that letting the Word of God go “in one ear and out the other” makes us like a man who saw himself in a mirror, turned away, and immediately forget what he looks like.  So, my friend, enjoy the highlight reel (those are some cute pictures!) but then instead of falling into the trap of comparison, soak in the Word.  There, you’ll be reminded of who you are: a chosen generation and royal priesthood (1 Pet. 2:9), the apple of God’s eye (Ps. 17:8), called of God (2 Tim. 1:9), complete (Col. 2:10)…. and lots more!  Hit the “like” button on fb, no problem doing that – then get out your bible highlighter and look into the “perfect law of liberty” (Jas. 1:15) and be reminded that you are blessed as well!

Enjoying the blessings of others AND enjoying blessings of your own without comparison or jealousy? That’s a treasure! Here’s hoping you are looking into the mirror of the WORD, not the mirror of the WORLD today! 🙂

Jennifer ❤

a new way to “drop the hammer”

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My husband says, “When all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail.”  Good mental picture: with only this tool in your toolbox, you have no choice but to pound everything in sight. Let’s talk about forgiveness today.  Forgiveness is all-important.  Forgiveness can propel you forward, but sadly the opposite (unforgiveness) will stop you “dead in your tracks”.  What is forgiveness exactly?  Found a definition and a quote for you:

“Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.”

“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.”

One of my life verses, I consider it daily, is Psalm 119:165.  It says, “Great peace have they who love Your law, and nothing causes them to be offended.” Nothing causes them to be offended.  That’s powerful.  That means that as we value God’s Word over all else, it always weighs heaviest on the scale in our heart.  When good things happen, the truth of the Lord is considered more important.  When bad things happen, the truth of the Lord is considered more important. When we have a choice between our emotions and God’s truth, we choose God’s truth.

Forgiveness isn’t easy.  In fact, it can be one of the most difficult things we have to do.  To truly forgive should include some of the following, whatever you think applies to your situation:

  • give up the need/desire to tell “your side” of the story
  • giving up the hope of being understood or having people commiserate with you
  • giving up the “right” to punish whoever hurt you
  • releasing any “conditions” you may have placed on your forgiveness – the offender might not repent, but you must forgive anyway
  • accepting that you may never recover what the offense cost you
  • letting go of the fact that the offender may not deserve your forgiveness
  • leaving any vengeance or justice in the Lord’s hands completely

When Jesus taught His disciples how to pray, He included a line about forgiveness:”Forgive us our trespasses,  as we forgive those who trespass against us” (Matthew 6:12).  For a minute, I want to focus on one important phrase in this sentence: “as we forgive“. “As” means “to the same degree or amount”, so let’s replace the word for its definition and see how the same sentence reads: “Forgive us our sins, to the same degree or amount that we forgive those who sin against us”.  Read that way, ask yourself: in your life, is this phrase an affirmation or is it a reproof?  Do you already forgive others to the same degree in which you would want to receive forgiveness yourself, or do you need to work on it?  Are you pleased that you are asking God to forgive you to the same degree or amount that you forgive others, or are you concerned that He might just forgive you in the same way you forgive others?

Unforgiveness and harboring offense will stop your progress like nothing else in your life. You will lose relationships, you will lose ministry opportunities, you will hurt more than yourself and the offender.  Everything will be affected, and it will spread like cancer until you let it go.  Unforgiveness and offense insist on being held with both hands, they won’t leave room for anything else.  Jesus also tells us, “whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11: 25-26).  Refusing forgiveness, refusing to release offense, will take up all your energy.  Unforgiveness will consume your mind and thoughts.  The longer you hold it, the more your life and relationships will be affected.

Let’s come back to my husband’s quote: “When all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail.” Good mental picture: with only this tool in your toolbox, you have no choice but to pound everything in sight.  I think another way of saying this is that the unforgiveness in your heart acts as a filter. Everything that comes to you must pass through this unresolved offense.  Everything that comes to you must come through this hurt, and everything becomes about you.  Unforgiveness makes you self-centered (that’s different than selfish in this context – can you appreciate the difference?). Everything becomes a piece of the offense. Every event, every action, every word, passed through this hurt becomes tainted by the hurt.  Just like your heart pumps blood to every part of your physical body, giving life  and health to every organ and limb; unforgiveness will pump discord, bitterness and discontentment to every part of your spiritual life.  Once your spirit is poisoned by unforgiveness, you are really “in trouble”.

I’m convinced that a vast majority of our problems are rooted in unforgiveness.  Is there a situation that you can’t get off your mind?  Is there a person that you can’t respond to with the love of Christ?  Are you looking for this person to fail, or even hoping that they will?  You probably have unforgiveness on some level, even buried in there.  Root it out, my friend – open your hands, release the offense, and allow the Lord to fill you with His goodness once again.  Refuse to allow offense or unforgiveness to stop your progress – you have so many places to go and so many things to do! When you finally let it go, oh my goodness – the relief is indescribable.  God is so generous and so kind, you’ll be overwhelmed by that first “breath of fresh air”, filling your spirit with freedom and peace.

Let’s “drop the hammer” of unforgiveness today.  Stop pounding everything in sight,  stop allowing that offense to be the filter through which everything comes to you. I’m praying that you can identify with the words of Paul: “I do concentrate on this: I leave the past behind and with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead I go straight for the goal—my reward the honor of being called by God in Christ” (Phil. 3:13 PHILLIPS).    Freedom from offense, being able to not only receive forgiveness but also offer forgiveness freely – that is truly a treasure, and you’ll want both hands available to hold it 🙂

Jennifer ❤

 

 

 

Man-Made vs. God-Given

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It was a little ridiculous. Okay, it was a LOT ridiculous.  We were only about 5 miles away, and we were happy with our new house.  Plus, it had only been a week.  The Saturday after the move, I just wanted to see our old house.  Michael was working in the new yard, the kiddos were riding bikes and scooters in the cul-de-sac, all under control.  I’d just do a little drive-by.

On the way over, I remembered Lindsay’s initial reaction to seeing the “for sale” sign in the front yard.  The move was not a surprise – we had talked to the children about it, but I guess seeing the sign made it more “real” to her.  She was only 5, and the only move she remembered was the one from Florida to Georgia.  In that particular move, she left her friends and her church – her whole little world. Her five-year-old mind couldn’t really understand that this move was different: she would still be in the same school, with the same friends, in the same church, involved in the same activities.  In her own little way, this move was a “move of faith” for her.  She was having to trust mom and dad to tell her the truth and act in her best interests even when she did not understand.

Pulling into our former subdivision, I passed the pool and a favorite neighbor’s house.  This sweet couple had brought over dinner for us the day we moved in.  It was a welcome treat after being on the road from Florida for so many hours.  Turning the corner, I saw “our” house.  Though the new owners were not outside at the moment, I could tell some work was going on,  They were moving plants, bringing in furniture, same things we were doing in our new house.  I could see paint cans in the driveway, and a ladder.  It was no surprise that they were painting, and I imagined that Lindsay’s vivid pink walls would be the first to go!  It was an exciting time, transforming a house into a home, and I smiled for the new couple.

Then I noticed a big, white… wait. What was that?  No, it wasn’t.  No, they didn’t.  No, they couldn’t have.  No really, they wouldn’t.  I had to slow down so I could see it better.  Yes. The  big white piece was my custom bookshelves, and it was apparent they were on their way to the dump.  They had been built in, so getting them out must have been some work. I loved those shelves.  Eight feet high, they went almost up to the ceiling.  Cabinets underneath the adjustable shelves, and moulding to match the rest of the room.  The carpenter did a beautiful job.  They looked as if they had always belonged there, and they were my favorite part of my formal living room.

I remember when I had finally saved enough money to have those shelves built.  I couldn’t wait to see them installed.  Upon moving to this house, I had not been able to unpack all my books because I didn’t have a place to put them.  The day the shelves were finally finished, I carried my boxes of books up from the garage.  Opening each box and sorting, I opened each one to get reacquainted with these old friends.  I sorted them and put them in my own order, arranging some by memory, arranging some by height, some by category…. Once I was done, I loved how they looked – I just sat and admired them.  Moving my favorite chair in between my new shelves and my big picture window created a perfect setting for a quiet read. Love!

Now my bookshelves were in the front yard.  Scrap wood.

Heartbroken at first, I turned and went home.  When I told Michael, he wasn’t surprised at all (let me tell you something about Michael – he’s not getting involved in melodramatics – he’s stable at all times).  He told me, “You know why they did that, don’t you?  When you had those shelves built in, you covered up the cable outlet.”

The cable outlet?  Was he for real?  The cable outlet.  I thought about my shelves.  Jane Austen used to live there, and Charlie Shedd.  Emily Bronte, Elisabeth Elliot and Edith Wharton.  Margaret Runbeck and Catherine Marshall. All my biographies (I love a true story), and my own stories, my journals and photo albums, my treasures.  Now they were ripped out and for what? SportsCenter?

Michael brought me out of my melodrama and back in to reality. “Jennifer, they did not rip out Jane Austen.  You moved her here.  Go inside and read a book if you want.  Besides, SportsCenter is awesome.”  I had to laugh at myself.  I went inside and started to make plans for new bookshelves. Wonder if that carpenter is still available?

Jesus had advice regarding our treasures here on earth.  He said, ““Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21).  It is not wrong to have material things – the Lord wants you to be blessed!   However, it is wrong if your greatest treasures are tangible and temporal.

We are told that earthly treasures can be stolen or destroyed.  Jesus does not tell us how to protect these “earthly treasures”.  There no way to protect or preserve forever what is made by man. Jesus tells us to replace them with treasures in heaven. There’s our exchange, our “trade”.  If we release our earthly treasures, God will give us treasures in heaven where man cannot ever take them away.  We carry these God-given treasures in our hearts and in our spirit.

At the end of the day, my bookshelves weren’t really a loss.  They weren’t even my bookshelves anymore.  My reaction was obviously disproportionate.  Besides, my joy wasn’t found in those bookshelves.  They were paint, wood, nail, easily replaced and rebuilt. I had more valuable treasures in my life and in my heart.

One more thing about treasures, about the things that give us happiness: if we give man the power to control or create our happiness, then we are also giving man the power to destroy or steal our happiness.  Putting your treasure in human hands is a bigger gamble than I am willing to take, how about you? Recognizing God as the source and control of my happiness here on earth, storing my abundance in Him – that’s a treasure.

Praying that you will be able to differentiate between man-made and God-made treasures in your life today, my friend 🙂

Jennifer ❤

Because I Didn’t Name My Son George

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I didn’t name my son George, but I really wanted to!  It’s my dad’s name, and I love him.  Michael vetoed that one when we were choosing names for our sons.  (I had veto power myself, and used it to nix Rayphord.  Yes, with a ph.  If either of the twins are reading this, y’all are welcome!). I’ll tell you a story about George today.

I had been running and not paying attention to the oversized hammock strung between the two tress in front of me.  How could I miss that?  Six years old, I had been more concerned with what was behind me than what was in front of me: it was a great game of tag, and my little brother was gaining on me fast!  I ran straight into the hammock and was flipped over onto my back. When I hit the ground, the wind had been knocked out of me.  Little and scared, I looked frantically for my dad.  I didn’t have to wait long.  From my vantage point on the ground, I saw it happen: my dad jumped of the back porch – jumped off the back porch! – landed on his feet and came to my rescue without hesitation.  You should have seen our back porch.  It was high, I’m telling you.  Scary high.  Daddy lifted me up, reassured me, and stayed with me until I felt safe again.  Already convinced that my dad was Superman, I now had proof: I had seen him fly.

This would not be the only time that my dad came to my rescue.  Over and over again in my life, he made it clear through his words and action that nothing was more important to him than the success and safety of our family.  He spent time with us, provided for us, protected us, loved us.  it was obvious that the main goal in my dad’s life was to care for us and strengthen us.  This knowledge made it pretty easy to submit to him.  If you were convinced that your authority was dedicated to your happiness and success it would be infinitely easier to obey, wouldn’t it?  Sure!  That’s the way it was with my dad.

Of course, I went through difficult years like most of us did.  I made my own mistakes and learned my own lessons.  Though he always put in his “two cents worth”, Dad would let me struggle at times.  In his wisdom, he knew that I would learn even in the struggle.  Certainly, there was always a reminder that my difficulty would have been avoided or made easier had I listened, but even when I fell, he was always there to help me up.

Looking back, I honestly can’t remember a time when my dad turned out to be wrong.  I didn’t always do what he told me, but things always seemed to work to my benefit when I did. From my childhood forward, there were times when I understood his direction and times when I did not understand.  In either case, there was one aspect of his instruction that I always understood completely: my dad loved me and his motives centered around me becoming successful and happy.   In a perfect world, our relationships with our earthly fathers would prepare us for and be a type of the relationship we would develop with our heavenly Father.  In this way, as in every other possible way, my dad id his job well. As I grew, I was able to apply my experience with my earthly father to what would become my experience with my Heavenly Father.  Because it was my experience that fathers were loving and caring and protective, I was able to accept that love more easily from my Father God.

Sadly, everyone does not have the relationship with their earthly fathers as I did with mine.  If your experience was different, you have to make a concerted effort to seek healing and to  exchange whatever feelings you have toward your earthly father for what you know to be true about your Heavenly Father: God loves you! Obedience is key,  and our best path to obedience is being convinced that God loves us and means our best.  As His motives toward us are pure, our motives in obedience must be pure as well. Sometimes it is important for us to know why we do the things we do.  When we were children, we did things because we were told.  Sometimes we understood why, sometimes we did not.  However, as it is acceptable to use wisdom in helping us make decisions, it is not acceptable to trust your own wisdom over the wisdom of the Lord.  When in doubt of your situation, you must never doubt God’s heart toward you.  Practice being obedient.  Make it your aim to please God, whether or not you understand His ways completely.

As we mature and make decisions for ourselves, the reason behind our obedience can help in the process.  God searches out our motives as well as our obedience.  In Jeremiah 17:10, God speaks to us and tells us, “I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.” The motives behind your obedience (or disobedience) will produce fruit, and it is according to that fruit you will be judged.  Strive to keep your heart open and pure before the Lord.

God’s Word communicates to us over and over again that God is love.  Through every word and deed in our lives, we can easily recognize His heart and His intentions toward us.  As we come to rest in His love, we will be able to minister His love to others.  God cares for us so that we may pass on the fullness of God’s care and comfort to others who need to experience His comfort.  In understanding our role in the providential plan of God, we must be aware that all He does for us is not ONLY for us.  As we are His agents here on earth, it is up to us to do His work and see His kingdom increased.

Paul communicates this idea perfectly in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 when he writes, “our Lord Jesus Christ… comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” As we understand His motives toward us and as we find ourselves comforted by God, we are to pass that comfort on to others.  As you become more and more obedient to Christ, you’ll find it easier and easier to serve others.  My dad modeled this before me very well.  When our obedience comes full circle in this way, we will be simultaneously fulfilling God’s plans for our lives AND furthering His kingdom here on earth.  Win-win!  In this way, our motives are every bit as important as our obedience.

From my six year old perspective, that porch was high.  Scary high, I’m telling you.  Years later, all grown and with children of my own, I stood in the backyard with my dad, my hero. Remembering that day and so many other days where he had put me first, I saw that porch from an adult perspective.  Funny – it was only about four feet off the ground.  I looked at my dad and realized: it didn’t change my perspective on him one single bit.  Still convinced that my dad is Superman, I had proof: I had seen him fly.

Having an example to follow here on earth is a bonus – realizing that we have the greatest example in Jesus Christ is a treasure.  Praying that you’ll find His example worthy to follow  and experience the blessings of obedience in your life ❤

Jennifer 🙂