Category: faith

it’s not just semantics :)

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I lead a small group at my church for “young ladies” – most of them are women aged 19-29, a few maybe older, a few maybe younger.  In between curriculums, we occasionally like to watch sermons on video, and we have a few favorite speakers that I keep “on hand”.

In one of our favorite in-between-curriculum-sermon DVDs, the speaker mentioned a certain “roadblock” or “hindrance” several times.  It wasn’t even the point of the message, but it seemed that she kept on saying it, using it as an example, mentioning it in passing on the way to the real point…. I’m going to skip naming “it” here. I don’t want you to get “hung up” on an issue and miss the forest for the tree.  Just “fill in the blank” yourself today – what hindrance to Christian growth comes to mind right now for you?  (Is it alcohol? Pre-marital sex? Coarse language? Fill-In-The-Blank?) Got “it” in your mind? Okay, then – that’s the one.

When the video came to a close, I brought “it” up. An issue that touched all of us in that room in some way, an issue that one probably wishes to avoid in the presence of the pastor’s wife, but I jumped in anyway.  Usually, its best to “tell the truth and shame the devil”.   One of these ladies had an insight/wisdom to share: she said that if you have to JUSTIFY an action or behavior, it is most likely an indication that you are being convicted of it in your spirit. How true, and it applies to everything we do. The Holy Spirit is a gift, and we need to follow His guidance and seek His guidance in all things.  However, like a fly gets caught in the spider’s web, we can get caught up in “words” and “perceptions” and “semantics” and become stuck.  Let’s clarify a few important distinctions to be made as we navigate through life, avoiding as many hindrances, pitfalls, roadblocks as we can:

JUSTIFICATION comes from our sinful self nature I’m not talking about the justification of sin by grace – I’m talking about the homophone justification, where we justify our own sin.  Where we tell ourselves that “it isn’t SO bad”, “it could be worse” or we make ourselves feel better by comparing ourselves to others (“I might have done THIS, but at least I didn’t do THAT”).  Truth is the only measure – the only comparing we should be doing is ourselves to the Word of God.  If you find yourself justifying your actions like this, that should be a red flag letting you know that something is not right.  Backtrack your steps.  Go to the Bible.  Don’t be afraid to tell the Lord that you messed up (He already knows). Don’t be afraid to tell the people around you (the ones who are watching you as their example, the ones who may be hurt by your actions) that you messed up.  Don’t stop at the words – turn around, repent, and get on with the business of being better.

CONDEMNATION comes from our enemy the devil Romans 8:1-2 teaches us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death” (NKJV). Condemnation is when an adverse or unfavorable judgement has been passed on you.  Condemnation is what you feel when you make a mistake, commit a sin, and the enemy of your soul (the devil) is right there to tell you: “you aren’t worthy, you aren’t lovable, you are bad”.  The devil wants you ashamed.  The devil wants you to hide.  The devil wants you to keep secrets.  He wants to condemn you and block your view of your Heavenly Father, who is standing arms wide open ready to love us in spite of our shortcomings.

CONVICTION comes from the Holy Spirit and is meant to gently guide us back to truth and transparency Hebrews 12:6-11 states, “My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God” (MSG).  While you feel the conviction, take every opportunity to feel the LOVE of God! If He didn’t love you, He wouldn’t care whether you were involved in sin or not. If He didn’t love you, He would leave you to your own devices.  When you feel convicted, feel deeply LOVED by the ultimate parent, who would rather you go through a moment of discomfort than an eternity of separation from the truth and the protection He offers.

WISE JUDGEMENT is an ability to see rightly and still operate in the love of Christ The word “judgement” has almost become a four-letter word in Christian circles as much is it in “worldly” circles. No one wants to be called “judgmental”, and we might even avoid telling the truth just to avoid being called “judgmental”.  Get over it!  The ability to judge rightly is a gift.  Determining a person’s worthiness by what you judge is being judgmental. Please appreciate the difference. Zechariah 8:16 states, “These are the things which you should do: speak the truth to one another; judge with truth and judgment for peace in your gates”.  Do not allow the fear of being called “judgmental” keep you from speaking the truth in love to yourself and to those around you.  Do not let the fear of being “judged” keep you from receiving truth from the Bible and from godly people around you.

Refuse to be distracted by condemnation (that’s from the enemy – reject it).  Refuse to be distracted by a wrong view of conviction/correction (that’s from the Lord – welcome it). Refuse to be distracted by a misunderstanding of judgement (it IS okay for one to recognize right and wrong.  It is NOT okay for one to determine a person’s value based on their behavior). 

The word of God is a “light to our feet and lamp to our path”(Psalm 119:105). The ability to apply it correctly and continue to grow in grace is a TREASURE, though it doesn’t always come easily.  Praying that you recognize the Light and continue to press forward!

❤ Jennifer

pay no attention to that man behind the curtain :)

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Well, that’s how I wanted it to be this morning as I sat in my usual spot in the front row. Pastor’s wife, full of faith and confidence and spiritual example to the congregation…. and bawling her eyes out throughout the entire service.  To be honest, I’ve felt it off and on all week.  One minute, I’m strong and “it’s going to be fine” and “God’s grace  is sufficient” and “the Lord is my refuge” and all the right confessions of faith.  Projecting the “right image”. The next minute, I’m a puddle and I’m crying and I’m heartbroken for what was lost.  As much as I know the Lord is able to restore and rebuild and heal, I know that His faithfulness cannot be judged by my circumstances.  God is STILL faithful, ALWAYS faithful, no matter what I can see in the natural.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a green curtain to hide behind in my front row seat. So I cried, right out there in the open, in the front row, raw and exposed.

What happened this week?  Hurricane Irma.  All over our newly renovated-paid-in-cash children’s wing.

Oh y’all, trust me.  It’s SO MUCH WORSE than it looks, honestly.  I know it just looks like a hole.  I know what you are thinking: “Put a tarp on it” (we did), “Hire a roofer” (we will), “don’t you have insurance?” (we do).  I’ll spare you all the details, partly because I just can’t form the words without crying so hard I can’t see the computer keyboard. It’s just worse.

I’m mourning today. I’m mourning the loss of that beautiful new room.  It cost us so much more than money.  It cost a year of our lives. Hard work, hard people, hard labor. Days I thought would nearly kill us.  Days were I learned from first hand experience that people actually do leave the church over the color of the carpet. Honest promise – before 2016, I thought those were just stories people made up, some kind of ridiculous exaggerations to distract us from the work.  Now I know – the struggle was real.  (We didn’t actually lose anyone, but it wasn’t because the devil didn’t try).

I’m mourning the loss of what my flesh counted as provision.  We raised the cash for that renovation.  New sound, new lighting, new computers, new furniture, new carpet, the best we could do and cash every step of the way. That felt good.  That felt like blessing.  It felt like the blessing of obedience. (Do you see this conversation going downhill?  I’ll continue so you don’t miss it….) It felt like security.  It felt like a reward. It felt like, “since y’all did this, the Lord will do this“.  That felt like sunshine.  That felt like winning.  It felt like getting ahead. It felt like being the “head and not the tail” (in my misguided way of translating Deut. 28:13 in this situation).

Really, it wasn’t ANY of those things.  You know what it was?  It was a building. It wasn’t the sole evidence of God’s faithfulness.

What I want is to connect all these symmetrical lines in my life, tying my world up in pretty finished bows.  I like a finished project. I like a beginning and an end.  I like feeling the ground beneath my feet. When something is unfinished or unexplain-able, it throws me off balance – but only for a minute.  Then I remember.

I remember heroes of faith from the Bible who struggled AND were blessed. I remember that one of Jesus’ promises was that we would have tribulation in this world (John 16:33) AND that we would never be left alone (John 14:18). I remember Habakkuk writing,

“Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation” (Hab. 3:17-18)

That’s not really the verse that I wanted to write today – it doesn’t exactly draw the line from tragedy to comfort in the way my flesh wants it to.  Want to know what the truth is? The truth is, God’s faithfulness cannot be measured by human’s standards. On my fantastic days, God is faithful.  On my terrible days, God is faithful. His character is not defined or determined by my feelings.  I did feel good when we finished that wing (because feeling good feels good) and I praised God for being faithful (because He is faithful).  Where I “went south” was connecting my fleeting good feelings to God’s consistent goodness.I’m not only reminded in this moment that God is good, I experience the ultimate comfort because I know that God never changes, even if my circumstances change.  I will JOY in the God of my salvation!

It’s true that I am a person of faith. When I’m projecting the right “pastor’s wife image” there in the front row, when I’m smiling and my mascara is on my lashes (and not running in hot streaks down my cheeks), I’m operating in faith and trust in the Lord.  The congregation can look my direction and feel good that all is right with the world because I’m smiling at the right times and I’m allowing a few tears at the right times (oh the pressure).

It’s also true that I am a PERSON. When I am bawling out crying and I look like I just lost my best friend, I’m STILL OPERATING IN FAITH AND TRUST IN THE LORD. Mercifully, there are dear ones in our congregation (God bless them!) who get their confidence from the Lord. They realize that even though I’m the pastor’s wife, I’m still a fellow pilgrim on the journey forward.  These dear people know that even when I’m not projecting the right “pastor’s wife image”.  They know I can be sad AND full of faith all at the same time.

It’s such a relief to be able to be understood when I say, “I KNOW it’s only stuff. I KNOW that God will restore. It’s just that I liked that stuff and I didn’t want it to be destroyed by a hurricane”.  Some people understood – and when they hugged my neck, I could tell they felt just the same way.

This is one of my favorite psalms, and it seems to fit just right here:

“Blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
They make it a spring;
The rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
Each one appears before God in Zion” (84:5-7)

Passing through the valleys, being refreshed by the rain and scorched by the sun and moving forward in spite of feelings….. I might make it with the occasional mascara streak and I’ll definitely make it with smile wrinkles too, but I’m gonna make it.  We all will.

Standing on the promises of God – and I mean ALL of the promises, not just the ones that make my flesh feel good – is a treasure.  God is good, whatever your circumstances.  Praying you find a reason to praise our amazingly kind and constant Heavenly Father – even if it’s a “in spite of” praise – today

Jennifer ❤

 

 

“everything fits” or “Christmas in July” :)

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Maybe because they were so close in age, my husband and I referred to our three as “the babies” and the affectionate term stayed. Now that they are 18 and 19 and 19, well, they are are still “the babies” – I guess they always will be!

When the babies first started helping in the kitchen, we started what we called “family dinner” once a week.  For “family dinner”, everyone made whatever their own favorite dish or dessert was at the time, or the most recent item they had learned to cook.  No rules – everyone added the ingredients they needed for their contribution to the grocery list, and we all cooked together.  Got to admit it – we had some weird combinations at those “mini-potluck” meals!  (Maybe this explains why you’ve never seen a picture of my dinner posted on Facebook, LOL! I would have gotten some raised eyebrows at the answer to the “what’s for dinner?” question if anyone outside of my 5 asked!). Maybe they were combos that one wouldn’t see at a restaurant, there was no “theme” to the meal, but we loved it.  The theme, I guess if you need one, was “things we loved”.  Remembering how picky the twins were in those days, it honestly worked out well – everyone cleaned their plate at the “family dinner”!

(p.s. this is NOT a picture of “family dinner” at my house, LOL!)

Had to smile when someone at church asked me today what was for Christmas lunch at our house… Want to know?  Michael and I had white chicken chili, and the babies had chicken alfredo (with angel hair pasta instead of alfredo noodles, naturally). When the garlic toast went in the oven, Jacob asked if he could make “pigs in a blanket” to go along with lunch.  Of course, he can!  What else would go along with a lunch of chili and alfredo if not “pigs in a blanket”? 😉 So, that was Christmas lunch – everyone had their favorite, and we loved it.

It’s a silly tradition, but it brought an unexpected lesson: we all have gifts to share.    We didn’t put “rules” on their offering, we just let it be. (Sometimes, the meal was brownies, crescent hot dogs, green bean casserole, and bacon. Weird, but we rolled with it and we enjoyed it. Maybe I could have done without the “beanies weenies and clam chowder” night, TBH 😉 ).  What we learned (completely by accident) is that all of our offerings are valuable. When we share those gifts, they all fit together somehow. Just like our gifts in the body of Christ – here’s what Paul wrote:

So here’s what I want you to do. When you gather for worship, each one of you be prepared with something that will be useful for all: Sing a hymn, teach a lesson, tell a story, lead a prayer, provide an insight. (1 Cor. 14:26 MSG)

You might be asking yourself: What is my gift?  What is my talent? Where do I fit in? My advice: just get started!  Do what you can with what you have.  You’ll see that God will bless it.  He will grow you and He will grow your gift and He will bless others around you with your gift.  You might think it’s silly, but you never know who might just need it…… Just like we needed Jacob’s “pigs in a blanket” to go along with our chicken alfredo 🙂

Realizing you have a gift to share, and recognizing the opportunity to share it?  That’s a treasure, and I’m praying that you find a place where your gift fits today! (hint: it very nearly fits anywhere!)

Jennifer ❤

 

Back in February 1997….

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom…. it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us…..

Charles Dickens’ opening line in “A Tale of Two Cities” described the moments perfectly, though  in my world, those moments don’t necessarily happen simultaneously.  On this day, the “worst”, the “darkness”, the “despair”, the “nothing” was all together – the return of my symmetry with the “best”, the “light”, the “hope”, the “everything” would come a few months later.

In February 1997, I was about four months pregnant and loving it. Pregnancy agreed with me.  I had a miracle inside, and even though it wasn’t a secret, it felt like it in a way.  All mine, for now – I would share the baby later – but today, it was all mine and I felt a smile inside all the time. Best, light, hope, everything before us. No words express it all, really.

One Saturday night, I started bleeding.  Panicked, I woke my husband.  We called the doctor, who advised me to stay in bed and call first thing in the morning. We called first thing in the morning, Sunday morning. Doctor said for me to stay in bed all day, and come to the office first thing Monday. I was frantic and I was sad.  Worst, darkness, despair, nothing before us. Really, I had no idea what this event might mean, but “for this child I had prayed” (1 Samuel 1:27), and nothing escaped the Lord’s notice.  He was forming this baby in the womb and He KNEW this baby, even now (Jeremiah 1:5).  I went to the Lord and to His word for comfort.

I’m not a “random” person – I’ve heard the same stories you have about the Bible falling open to the right page at the right moment to the right verse.  I believe those stories – it just isn’t how the Lord deals with me.  He knows my type-A-ness and He parents me in a way specifically suited for me.  On this night, though, I couldn’t hear and I couldn’t see through my tears, I just held my Bible, and opened it.

I saw Isaiah 44:3 and the following verses immediately.  When I read that the Lord said that He “will pour My Spirit on your descendants And My blessing on your offspring”, I felt an immediate peace.  I accepted this promise, leapt off the page, as mine, and went back to bed.  I can’t remember how I slept, but I know the Lord gave me sleep that night (that’s a promise too – Psalm 127:2).  We went straight to the doctor, first thing in the morning.  She listened for a heartbeat, and we were listening too, barely able to concentrate for the sound of our own rushed heartbeats, Michael’s and mine. Oh relief! She found it – can you hear that, there it is, the baby’s heartbeat and it’s strong!  Mercifully, the baby was fine.  Thank You, Jesus, the baby was fine!  Once again: best, light, hope, everything before us!  The symmetry I long for restored.

In February 1997, we only knew about one baby.  Back in the dark ages, doctor’s offices didn’t always have their own ultrasound machines.  In March we’d be sent to the hospital for the one ultrasound our insurance would cover.  Hopefully we’d be able to find out the gender while the technician counted fingers and toes and measured limbs.  Imagine our surprise: it wasn’t only one baby, but two!  Two boys! I forgot all about the scary weekend last month – I had two boys!

Some weeks after the twins were born, I was grabbing minutes (or seconds) here and there to pray and get into the Bible. One morning, I remembered that verse that had given me peace – what was it again?  I remembered Isaiah, and I remembered that I had written “baby 2/97” beside it. Flipping pages and finding it, I read it again and took the whole passage in:

“One will say, I am the Lord’s; Another will call himself by the name of Jacob”.  It still takes my breath away  to read it, and let me tell you why: Baby A (the firstborn) is Tyler, and Baby B (the second) – his name is Jacob.  Reading it right off the page, I realized: on that evening, comforting me, the Lord didn’t only know the child that I knew about – He knew that there were two of them, and He even knew their names.  How precious.  How humbling.

Later, the doctor would explain to me why she had me stay home instead coming to her right away: she “knew” that the baby was already lost she said, and she wanted to give me one more night’s sleep before breaking my heart with the worst possible news. Funny, how we humans explain things.  She was giving me one more night.  Really, it was God who was giving me one more night – one more opportunity to hear His voice and experience His peace.  He knew that this memory would sustain and encourage for years to come.  It was His gift, and it continues even still.

To know His voice, you must know His Word – He never contradicts Himself.  Read the Word on the good days, so you can remember the Word on the hard days. I can look back at this and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord is real and alive and present and invested in me.  Can I tell you one more thing about the Lord before we close today?  He’s “no respecter of persons” (Acts 10:34).  That means that He loves everyone the same and shows no partiality.  He doesn’t only speak to me through His Word – He speaks to all of us.

Knowing how He speaks and being able to receive His comfort at just the right time is a treasure – and being able to remember it and understand it better the second time is beyond expression. Praying that you find a treasure in His Word today –

Jennifer ❤

 

As it turns out, I like to dawdle :)

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Anyone who knows me will tell you: I like to be productive. Relaxing isn’t really my thing.  It’s hard for me to “turn off”. Dawdling? Lingering, dallying, taking one’s time, being slow and idle wasting time – no, not for me. Definitely no.

Ecclesiastes 3 teaches us,

‘For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.

I like it. I like everything having a specific time.  I like routines and procedures and hard work and accomplishments and completion.  I like a beginning and an end.   Getting to check an item off my to-do list? Yes! “Oh rapture, oh bliss!” (sorry – obscure Gilbert and Sullivan reference there. The three people who got it enjoyed it!) 

Well, the other morning, in the middle of all my routines, I surprised myself. Michael and I had been on vacation (cabin in the middle of nowhere, no cell phones, no wi-fi, no TV, it was glorious!) and were set to leave the next day.  I know how long it takes me to get ready: 1 hour, 45 minutes.  It takes me that long every day, and trust me: the queen of routine has it timed down to the last minute.  Michael decided we would leave at 5:00am,  so we would miss traffic in both of the major cities we’d hit on the way home.  Okay, so quick math: I need to get up at 3:15 if I’m going to be ready. Yikes – 3:15? Even for an early bird like me, that’s crazy. If I skip my makeup and flat iron, maybe I can shave a few minutes off.  Who am I kidding  – I can skip make-up, but the flat iron is a non-negotiable.  Alright, I’ll set the alarm for 3:45 (still crazy, but less crazy, right?) and if I’m not ready, I’ll put make-up on in the car when the sun comes up.

The alarm went off at 3:45.  Lord Jesus help me, the alarm went off at 3:45.  Well, no time to dawdle (and I don’t like to dawdle anyway, right?), so I better get going.  Shower. Blow-dry. Dress. Flat iron. Don’t know what time it is, but Michael isn’t up yet, so I’ll start make-up and get as far as I can. All done! Made it in plenty of time – Michael is still in bed! Pack my morning stuff in my bag, suitcase is already packed from the night before.  Walk out to grab my phone and check the time.

It’s 4:15.  Yes, 4:15am. Seriously – I did ALL of that in 30 minutes?  How is this possible?  

While I was waiting out 45 minutes I had to spare, I considered the difference between this morning and every other morning of my adult life. Today, I used my time to shower-blow dry-flat iron-make up exclusively. What did I do yesterday and every other day?  Well, as it turns out: I was dawdling and loving it! Every other morning: I get up, and think about my day.  Pray. I exercise. Pray the workout would be over (not my most spiritual moment, just being honest). I go to the shower, and sit on the cool tile checking Facebook while I wait for hot water.  I find a show on Netflix and read closed captioning while I blow dry.  I read a little bit, I pray a little bit.  I eat breakfast (either a banana-spinach smoothie or Special K red berries, same every day).  I put make-up on. I cuddle my puppy (she has no delusions about herself like I did: she loves a dawdle and has no shame about it!). I look at the time – once I get to this point, I need about 10 minutes to dress and flat-iron, and I have plenty of time actually, so I read a little more, check a little more Facebook, pray a little more, think a little more, gather a little more quiet.

IMG_1704

I love those first hours of the day – there’s no schedule and there doesn’t have to be.  There’s no student or friend or family member with any demands on my time.  It’s not time to clock in at work yet.  It’s a wonderful time to dawdle and apparently I love to dawdle at the right time! There is a time for everything, even for dawdling – what a surprise!

What surprises you about your personality?  Ask the Lord to reveal to you something you didn’t know about yourself – something enjoyable you didn’t know about yourself. He delights in you – did you know that?  He is here to offer correction, but He is also here to enjoy a relationship with you, just the way you are!  Realizing that I like a daily dawdle was a nice surprise – and I’ll enjoy it a little more now, no shame!

Knowing that I can actually get ready in 30 minutes doesn’t make a difference: I’m gonna get up early tomorrow morning and dawdle all over again. I’m going to be thankful to the Lord for the realization that this time is a luxury, an unaccounted for gift, a “time to keep” like Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 3. Bonus for me: because I’m getting started early, I have lots more day left to enjoy and accomplish!

A “time to keep” is a treasure! No matter what your routines, I’m praying that you find a time to slow down and enjoy the presence of the Lord!

Jennifer ❤

mirror, mirror on the facebook wall

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mirror-mirror

Everyone  loves to see what everyone else is doing, huh? It’s amazing, really, how connected we are today – and at the same time, how connected we AREN’T…. We get caught up in it easily through social media – stalking profiles and scrolling through your homepage or tweeting or checking out pictures on instagram, we see what is the newest and best.  It’s fun to catch up with friends (I have these accounts too, so don’t think this is a call to deactivate your fb account, okay?), but there is a line that we’ve crossed somewhere along the way.

One favorite favorite paradox is “TBH”: “to be honest”.  Can you think of many people whose profile is truly honest?  We post the snapshots we want people to see – toddler hugging his new puppy (love!), but we left out the toddler having a temper fit in the grocery aisle because mom didn’t buy the candy.  How about the picture of that delicious dinner (yummy!)?  We didn’t follow it up with a picture of the 7-year-old gagging over the broccoli and being sent to bed early for refusing to clean his plate, did we?  Picture of the engagement ring (so exciting!), but not the picture of the fight over the budget.

I’m so grateful that I didn’t have to raise get married or raise children or have birthday parties on facebook.  When I got married, EVERY SINGLE album was EXACTLY like EVERY other album.  True story – ask anyone who got married in the 1990s and here’s the line up of pictures: bride alone, groom alone, bride with parents, groom with parents, bride with groomsmen, groom with bridesmaids, couple with bride’s family, couple with groom’s family, couple looking at camera, couple looking at each other, close up of hands with rings….. Raising kids on facebook? Well, I would have been quickly labeled “worst mother of the year” on a daily. The twins’ first birthday was a quiet family affair – there was no “smash cake” (we didn’t have those back in the dark ages), but we took lots of pictures and shared lots of laughs. Honest promise, one of my favorite days!  Trust me, no one is making a pinterest board out of my wedding album or my kids’ toddler years, but even still they were such precious days ❤

Along with the social media comes a certain amount of competition that can easily become unhealthy if one isn’t careful.  We were talking about this in my small group not too long ago, and one young woman said, “We shouldn’t compare our reality with someone else’s highlight reel.” Amen.  Truer words were rarely spoken.  Let those sink in for a minute: “We shouldn’t compare our reality with someone else’s highlight reel.”  Unfortunately, this generation, raised on social media, has grown up with everyone’s highlight reels. Along with it, came the pressure to create our own “highlight reel” to keep up.  If our facebook wall wasn’t as perfect as everyone else’s, well, then we were being cheated or were missing out somehow.

I don’t have to tell you that comparison is dangerous. The only healthy measure is the truth found in the Word of God.  In the Message translation, James 1:21-27 reads like this: “In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Acton what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.  Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived.”  The KJV (maybe more familiar to a few of us) says, “but be ye doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves”.

Looking into social media can make you feel like a failure at times – I can’t even live up to some of these pinterest-worthy posts – but looking into the Word of God and continuing in the truth He has given to us can make you confident in the precious person of God that you are.  James says that letting the Word of God go “in one ear and out the other” makes us like a man who saw himself in a mirror, turned away, and immediately forget what he looks like.  So, my friend, enjoy the highlight reel (those are some cute pictures!) but then instead of falling into the trap of comparison, soak in the Word.  There, you’ll be reminded of who you are: a chosen generation and royal priesthood (1 Pet. 2:9), the apple of God’s eye (Ps. 17:8), called of God (2 Tim. 1:9), complete (Col. 2:10)…. and lots more!  Hit the “like” button on fb, no problem doing that – then get out your bible highlighter and look into the “perfect law of liberty” (Jas. 1:15) and be reminded that you are blessed as well!

Enjoying the blessings of others AND enjoying blessings of your own without comparison or jealousy? That’s a treasure! Here’s hoping you are looking into the mirror of the WORD, not the mirror of the WORLD today! 🙂

Jennifer ❤

a new way to “drop the hammer”

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My husband says, “When all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail.”  Good mental picture: with only this tool in your toolbox, you have no choice but to pound everything in sight. Let’s talk about forgiveness today.  Forgiveness is all-important.  Forgiveness can propel you forward, but sadly the opposite (unforgiveness) will stop you “dead in your tracks”.  What is forgiveness exactly?  Found a definition and a quote for you:

“Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.”

“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.”

One of my life verses, I consider it daily, is Psalm 119:165.  It says, “Great peace have they who love Your law, and nothing causes them to be offended.” Nothing causes them to be offended.  That’s powerful.  That means that as we value God’s Word over all else, it always weighs heaviest on the scale in our heart.  When good things happen, the truth of the Lord is considered more important.  When bad things happen, the truth of the Lord is considered more important. When we have a choice between our emotions and God’s truth, we choose God’s truth.

Forgiveness isn’t easy.  In fact, it can be one of the most difficult things we have to do.  To truly forgive should include some of the following, whatever you think applies to your situation:

  • give up the need/desire to tell “your side” of the story
  • giving up the hope of being understood or having people commiserate with you
  • giving up the “right” to punish whoever hurt you
  • releasing any “conditions” you may have placed on your forgiveness – the offender might not repent, but you must forgive anyway
  • accepting that you may never recover what the offense cost you
  • letting go of the fact that the offender may not deserve your forgiveness
  • leaving any vengeance or justice in the Lord’s hands completely

When Jesus taught His disciples how to pray, He included a line about forgiveness:”Forgive us our trespasses,  as we forgive those who trespass against us” (Matthew 6:12).  For a minute, I want to focus on one important phrase in this sentence: “as we forgive“. “As” means “to the same degree or amount”, so let’s replace the word for its definition and see how the same sentence reads: “Forgive us our sins, to the same degree or amount that we forgive those who sin against us”.  Read that way, ask yourself: in your life, is this phrase an affirmation or is it a reproof?  Do you already forgive others to the same degree in which you would want to receive forgiveness yourself, or do you need to work on it?  Are you pleased that you are asking God to forgive you to the same degree or amount that you forgive others, or are you concerned that He might just forgive you in the same way you forgive others?

Unforgiveness and harboring offense will stop your progress like nothing else in your life. You will lose relationships, you will lose ministry opportunities, you will hurt more than yourself and the offender.  Everything will be affected, and it will spread like cancer until you let it go.  Unforgiveness and offense insist on being held with both hands, they won’t leave room for anything else.  Jesus also tells us, “whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11: 25-26).  Refusing forgiveness, refusing to release offense, will take up all your energy.  Unforgiveness will consume your mind and thoughts.  The longer you hold it, the more your life and relationships will be affected.

Let’s come back to my husband’s quote: “When all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail.” Good mental picture: with only this tool in your toolbox, you have no choice but to pound everything in sight.  I think another way of saying this is that the unforgiveness in your heart acts as a filter. Everything that comes to you must pass through this unresolved offense.  Everything that comes to you must come through this hurt, and everything becomes about you.  Unforgiveness makes you self-centered (that’s different than selfish in this context – can you appreciate the difference?). Everything becomes a piece of the offense. Every event, every action, every word, passed through this hurt becomes tainted by the hurt.  Just like your heart pumps blood to every part of your physical body, giving life  and health to every organ and limb; unforgiveness will pump discord, bitterness and discontentment to every part of your spiritual life.  Once your spirit is poisoned by unforgiveness, you are really “in trouble”.

I’m convinced that a vast majority of our problems are rooted in unforgiveness.  Is there a situation that you can’t get off your mind?  Is there a person that you can’t respond to with the love of Christ?  Are you looking for this person to fail, or even hoping that they will?  You probably have unforgiveness on some level, even buried in there.  Root it out, my friend – open your hands, release the offense, and allow the Lord to fill you with His goodness once again.  Refuse to allow offense or unforgiveness to stop your progress – you have so many places to go and so many things to do! When you finally let it go, oh my goodness – the relief is indescribable.  God is so generous and so kind, you’ll be overwhelmed by that first “breath of fresh air”, filling your spirit with freedom and peace.

Let’s “drop the hammer” of unforgiveness today.  Stop pounding everything in sight,  stop allowing that offense to be the filter through which everything comes to you. I’m praying that you can identify with the words of Paul: “I do concentrate on this: I leave the past behind and with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead I go straight for the goal—my reward the honor of being called by God in Christ” (Phil. 3:13 PHILLIPS).    Freedom from offense, being able to not only receive forgiveness but also offer forgiveness freely – that is truly a treasure, and you’ll want both hands available to hold it 🙂

Jennifer ❤

 

 

 

Man-Made vs. God-Given

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It was a little ridiculous. Okay, it was a LOT ridiculous.  We were only about 5 miles away, and we were happy with our new house.  Plus, it had only been a week.  The Saturday after the move, I just wanted to see our old house.  Michael was working in the new yard, the kiddos were riding bikes and scooters in the cul-de-sac, all under control.  I’d just do a little drive-by.

On the way over, I remembered Lindsay’s initial reaction to seeing the “for sale” sign in the front yard.  The move was not a surprise – we had talked to the children about it, but I guess seeing the sign made it more “real” to her.  She was only 5, and the only move she remembered was the one from Florida to Georgia.  In that particular move, she left her friends and her church – her whole little world. Her five-year-old mind couldn’t really understand that this move was different: she would still be in the same school, with the same friends, in the same church, involved in the same activities.  In her own little way, this move was a “move of faith” for her.  She was having to trust mom and dad to tell her the truth and act in her best interests even when she did not understand.

Pulling into our former subdivision, I passed the pool and a favorite neighbor’s house.  This sweet couple had brought over dinner for us the day we moved in.  It was a welcome treat after being on the road from Florida for so many hours.  Turning the corner, I saw “our” house.  Though the new owners were not outside at the moment, I could tell some work was going on,  They were moving plants, bringing in furniture, same things we were doing in our new house.  I could see paint cans in the driveway, and a ladder.  It was no surprise that they were painting, and I imagined that Lindsay’s vivid pink walls would be the first to go!  It was an exciting time, transforming a house into a home, and I smiled for the new couple.

Then I noticed a big, white… wait. What was that?  No, it wasn’t.  No, they didn’t.  No, they couldn’t have.  No really, they wouldn’t.  I had to slow down so I could see it better.  Yes. The  big white piece was my custom bookshelves, and it was apparent they were on their way to the dump.  They had been built in, so getting them out must have been some work. I loved those shelves.  Eight feet high, they went almost up to the ceiling.  Cabinets underneath the adjustable shelves, and moulding to match the rest of the room.  The carpenter did a beautiful job.  They looked as if they had always belonged there, and they were my favorite part of my formal living room.

I remember when I had finally saved enough money to have those shelves built.  I couldn’t wait to see them installed.  Upon moving to this house, I had not been able to unpack all my books because I didn’t have a place to put them.  The day the shelves were finally finished, I carried my boxes of books up from the garage.  Opening each box and sorting, I opened each one to get reacquainted with these old friends.  I sorted them and put them in my own order, arranging some by memory, arranging some by height, some by category…. Once I was done, I loved how they looked – I just sat and admired them.  Moving my favorite chair in between my new shelves and my big picture window created a perfect setting for a quiet read. Love!

Now my bookshelves were in the front yard.  Scrap wood.

Heartbroken at first, I turned and went home.  When I told Michael, he wasn’t surprised at all (let me tell you something about Michael – he’s not getting involved in melodramatics – he’s stable at all times).  He told me, “You know why they did that, don’t you?  When you had those shelves built in, you covered up the cable outlet.”

The cable outlet?  Was he for real?  The cable outlet.  I thought about my shelves.  Jane Austen used to live there, and Charlie Shedd.  Emily Bronte, Elisabeth Elliot and Edith Wharton.  Margaret Runbeck and Catherine Marshall. All my biographies (I love a true story), and my own stories, my journals and photo albums, my treasures.  Now they were ripped out and for what? SportsCenter?

Michael brought me out of my melodrama and back in to reality. “Jennifer, they did not rip out Jane Austen.  You moved her here.  Go inside and read a book if you want.  Besides, SportsCenter is awesome.”  I had to laugh at myself.  I went inside and started to make plans for new bookshelves. Wonder if that carpenter is still available?

Jesus had advice regarding our treasures here on earth.  He said, ““Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21).  It is not wrong to have material things – the Lord wants you to be blessed!   However, it is wrong if your greatest treasures are tangible and temporal.

We are told that earthly treasures can be stolen or destroyed.  Jesus does not tell us how to protect these “earthly treasures”.  There no way to protect or preserve forever what is made by man. Jesus tells us to replace them with treasures in heaven. There’s our exchange, our “trade”.  If we release our earthly treasures, God will give us treasures in heaven where man cannot ever take them away.  We carry these God-given treasures in our hearts and in our spirit.

At the end of the day, my bookshelves weren’t really a loss.  They weren’t even my bookshelves anymore.  My reaction was obviously disproportionate.  Besides, my joy wasn’t found in those bookshelves.  They were paint, wood, nail, easily replaced and rebuilt. I had more valuable treasures in my life and in my heart.

One more thing about treasures, about the things that give us happiness: if we give man the power to control or create our happiness, then we are also giving man the power to destroy or steal our happiness.  Putting your treasure in human hands is a bigger gamble than I am willing to take, how about you? Recognizing God as the source and control of my happiness here on earth, storing my abundance in Him – that’s a treasure.

Praying that you will be able to differentiate between man-made and God-made treasures in your life today, my friend 🙂

Jennifer ❤

My Own Personal “Dazed and Confused”

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I love the book of Isaiah, it’s a favorite.  I’m thinking of one short verse in particular today, 21:11-12. To skip the history lesson (oh how I dearly love a history lesson – but I’m sparing you today!), these people were in great fear and darkness.  They call out to the night watchman. They say in Isaiah 21:11, “Watchman, what about the night?”  They actually say it twice, that’s how desperate they were to find some relief from the darkness surrounding them: “Watchman, what about the night?  Watchman, what about the night?”  The watchman answers them, and the answer brought relief and dread at the same time.  He replies in 21:12, “The morning comes, and also the night.”  Happily, the morning (light, knowledge, peace) was coming – sadly, the night (darkness, lawlessness, confusion) was coming too.  These two things were not coming hand-in-hand, they were not coming together – but they were coming simultaneously.  It was going to be absolutely vital that these frightened people be able to differentiate between the light and the darkness.

It’s absolutely vital for us too. We HAVE to be able to differentiate between light and darkness, good and evil, right and wrong…. Let’s come back to this thought in a minute 🙂

I used to travel to California every January with my mom, to visit her mother.  Fun trip each year! However, one year I got air-sickness on the plane.  Not fun at all!  I was sick on the plane, the continued motion didn’t help, and I just couldn’t recover.  I didn’t realize it, but I was dehydrated by the time we deboarded.  I barely made it to the baggage claim, and that was as far as I could go.  I’m embarrassed to tell you: I LAID DOWN in the middle of the FLOOR at Los Angeles International.  Lord help, people had to step over or around me to get where they were going.  My mother didn’t know what to do.  She decided to get me a drink from one of the little shops there in the airport. When she tried to come back to the terminal where I was sprawled out like a vagrant of some sort, she wasn’t allowed back in.  She had already passed the security checkpoint.  Some kind stranger had brought me a trashcan from the ladies room, which (putting this as gently as possible) I took advantage of right there.  Blocked 20 feet away from me, Mom had no choice but to leave me on the floor and take the shuttle to pick up our rental car.  When she returned, she talked a police officer into coming to get me (the description made me easy to recognize: I was the one with my head in a trashcan, lying on the floor in the middle of the LAX baggage claim). The police officer walked up to me, said my name and I got up and went with him (a stranger says “Jennifer” and here I go?  Not usually.).  He took me to my mom and our rental car, where I promptly rolled down the window and hung my head out the side like a dog (first a vagrant, now an animal. I ask you).  Mom found a local urgent care, and once the IV got fluids back in my system, it was like coming to life again.  A man walked in to check on me, cheerfully indicated that I was looking better and he would be back in a few minutes.  I smiled and thanked him, but had no idea who he was.  When the door closed behind him, I asked my mom – she was surprised as she told me, “Jennifer, that’s your doctor!  We’ve been here for hours, you’ve seen him several times already.”    I didn’t even remember getting out of the car and into this small white room. The whole afternoon had been a blur.  Now that I was returning to myself, I was remembering how disoriented I had been all afternoon, acting in a manner that was a complete contradiction to my usual character.  My body just needed water – it was vital.

Being dehydrated as I was brought the usual symptoms: sleepiness, sluggishness, confusion, disorientation.  To put it plainly: I just wasn’t myself!  Once I got fluids back into my system, I was back to my usual self: my feet on the floor instead of my face on the floor, trashcan in the corner where it belongs, my head INSIDE the car and the AC up.  I knew who I was and where I belonged, and I behaved accordingly.  Life was good!

Many times, when the Bible references water, it is a symbol or type of the Holy Spirit. If the Holy Spirit is to our spirit as water is to our physical bodies, it’s not hard to make the connection: THE HOLY SPIRIT IS VITAL to us as believers in this dark age.  The Holy Spirit is the part of the Trinity that Jesus left here with us when He returned to Heaven.  I like the Message translation here – remember He said, “I will talk to the Father, and he’ll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth…. you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!” (John 14:16 MSG).  I know what I am like without water – trust me, not my best day.  I also know what I am like without the benefit of the Holy Spirit and the gift of salvation, too – not my best day.  Not yours either, my sweet friend.  I have a sinful nature, and my natural tendency is not toward grace or sinlessness – I need the Lord’s help for that. The Bible says that all have fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), that we all have gone astray like sheep without a shepherd (Isaiah 53:6).  We need the Lord.  Without Him, what are we?  We are disoriented, irritable, sluggish, sleepy, confused.  We can’t tell right from wrong (as unpopular as it is, there is right and wrong).  We forget we who are. We are unaware of proper behavior.  Like I didn’t recognize the good doctor, we don’t recognize the people around us.

The Bible says:

“Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. “He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'” But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive” (John 7:37-39)

“but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life” (John 4:14)

 

Without water, we become dehydrated.  Being dehydrated brings physical symptoms: sleepiness, sluggishness, confusion, disorientation. Without the Holy Spirit, we become confused, disoriented…. Can you think of an example of right and wrong being confused in our society?  Sure you can.  I can, too. Can you feel assured in your spirit that Jesus is coming back soon?  Me too!  Can you see that the darkness is closing in, and times are harder now than ever before?  Yes, me too.

“What about the night?  What about the night?”

“The morning is coming, and the also the night.”

Do not take the wisdom of the Lord and the benefit of the Holy Spirit for granted – you need it in your Christian walk as much as you need water in your physical body. Staying true to the Lord and oriented to His wisdom is necessary – and it’s harder than you think.  The Lord is generous, and I am praying that you depend on Him today to help you differentiate between the light and the darkness.  The ability to do so, and to recognize the Friend that you have with you always?  Now that is a treasure!

Jennifer ❤

wait for it: a new season is coming!

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Does anyone remember Inigo Montoya from “The Princess Bride”?  At one point, Westley tells him that he’ll just have to wait, and he replies “I hate waiting!”  Me too.  I always think that now is the best time. Well, maybe not always, but LOTS of the time!

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For some time, over a year maybe, I’ve had a sense that a change of season is coming to my life.  This knowing inside brought encouragement that the Lord was speaking to my spirit and excitement over a “new thing” (In Isaiah 43:19, the Lord exclaims: “Behold, I shall do a new thing – even now it shall spring forth!” I can sense the excitement coming off the page in that favorite verse!).  I don’t mind change – I welcome an opportunity to grow!

Of course, as is to be expected, there was an opposition: while my spirit was cheering, my “natural man” was becoming discouraged and dissatisfied.  “Wait for it? Why do I have to wait for it? How long do I have to endure this current season in order to get to the new thing?” I found myself growing unhappy with my current season – when in all honestly, my current season is pretty happy, not a time to merely endure!

I began to seek the Lord.  I praised Him for the insight, and expressed gratitude for His speaking to my spirit.  I recalled that the Lord confides in those who fear Him (Psalm 25:14) and was quietly humbled by the thought that He would consider me.  Mostly, I asked for forgiveness, though.  I remembered also that godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6), and I knew that the contentment part was just as much my responsibility as the godliness part: a discontented spirit indicated that I had taken a step in the wrong direction.

I told the Lord how encouraged I was to be reminded over again and so personally that He had a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11), but I confessed that the knowledge was making me unhappy today.  Where had I gone wrong?  Gently the still small Voice came again: “the vision was yet for an appointed time” (Hab. 2:3).  It was meant to encourage me that I had a hope, not discourage me that I hadn’t gotten to it yet.  What was I supposed to do today?  Rest in Him, comforted in the knowledge that He is in charge of my today and my tomorrows.  Find joy in His presence (Psalm 16:11), and be just as content with where I am now as in the knowing that I am on my way to a new place.

Jeremiah 29:11 is a favorite and familiar verse for many of us, isn’t it?  Did you ever read what comes before it?  Let’s look at the whole passage together for a minute:

4 This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper…..

10 This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord….” (Jer. 29:4-7, 10-14).

You see, the Lord knew exactly where His people were, and He knew where they were going – but there’s a big in-between time in there!  What were the instructions?  Build homes and LIVE.  Plant gardens and EAT.  Have children and give them in marriage.  Seek the peace of their NOW, and the Lord would come back – and He would come back with His plans and all the good things they were hoping for.  It was that hope that tied them to the Lord, like a cord pulling them forward.  This hope didn’t only keep them close to a word or to a promise: it kept them close to the One Who gave them that promise, and His presence was a comfort in the in-between time.

Every time the Lord speaks to me, He always comes in agreement with His word.  It’s so important to know the Word of God intimately, as it is the record of His character.  I was to find contentment in His presence NOW, and let the encouragement of his word to me be two-fold: encouraged that I was on the right path today and encouraged that this path would lead me to my next season.

Are you changing seasons too?  Be encouraged that the Lord led you to your current season to lead you through to your new season…. and after that, there will be another new season – if we are continually growing, we are continually changing!

Following the Lord is the treasure: don’t hold too tightly to the right-now or to the promise of the future: hold tightly to His presence and that treasure will always be yours. ❤ Find blessings in today!

Jennifer 🙂