Category: spiritual friendships

Cheerleaders, Not Competitors

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Competition has no place in the Kingdom of God. It’s not a principle of Heaven, and it’s certainly not the posture of a heart that understands who God is and what He’s building.

When I spent weeks blogging and podcasting about seasons of transition, I kept returning to this principle: whether you are the incoming leader or the outgoing leader, you are not the comparison—you are the cheerleader. However, this principle applies to every single person in the body of Christ. If you are serving Jesus, you are serving the Body – not creating competition within it.

Think about what comparison does. It isolates. It fuels insecurity. It says, “If you succeed, there’s less for me.” Let me remind you, friend: that is a lie straight from the enemy. God is not limited. Someone else’s blessing does not diminish your portion. If anything, it should remind you of the greatness of the Giver. There is no place for a scarcity mentality here.

When we forget this, we start comparing, striving, and even resenting what God is doing in someone else. There’s some red flags there, so hold up – Scripture reminds us over and over that we are one body. A hand should not work against another hand. An elbow should not oppose an eyeball. A shoulder should not trip up a toe. Each part matters. Each part plays a role. The body can only function properly when each part works together in unity.

Cheerleaders, on the other hand, celebrate progress and victory—whether or not they are the ones holding the trophy. They wave the banner of encouragement, not envy. They make noise for someone else’s moment, knowing that when one part of the body thrives, the entire body benefits.

Luke 5 paints this picture beautifully. When Jesus told Peter to put his nets back into the water after an exhausting, fishless night (is fishless a word? you get me!), the catch was so large that the nets began to break. What was Peter’s first reaction? Did he say, “I’ve got to keep this all to myself”? No. Scripture says he signaled for his partners in the other boat to come and help (Luke 5:6-7).

What God was doing for Peter was not just about Peter. It was about blessing others. It was about enlarging the circle of provision and letting the miracle overflow into other people’s boats.

That is how Kingdom success works. It’s never all about you. If God has given you a gift, a platform, or an opportunity, He’s given it not just to you—but through you—for the body of Christ. When someone else in ministry receives a breakthrough, launches a new program, publishes a book, grows their platform, or leads someone to Christ, it is not a threat to you. It is a reason to celebrate!

We live in a culture that often measures value by visibility and success by numbers. But Kingdom work isn’t measured that way. When one church thrives, the Kingdom advances. When another leader has a fruitful season, heaven rejoices. When heaven rejoices, that;’s our cue to rejoice as well!

Paul makes this clear in Romans 12:15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” This is not a suggestion—it is a command. A Christlike posture sees another’s success and says, “Thank You, Lord, for what You are doing in them—and through them—for all of us.”

Psalm 84 gives us another glimpse of God’s design for His people: “They go from strength to strength; till each appears before God in Zion” (v. 7). Notice the wording: they go—not he or she, but they. The psalmist is painting a picture of a people on pilgrimage together, drawing strength not just from God, but from one another, until every single one of them reaches the destination.

When I imagine standing before the Lord at the end of my race, I don’t want to come empty-handed or with a spirit of rivalry. I want to arrive arm in arm, hand in hand, raising up my brothers and sisters, celebrating what God has done in all of us. I want to know that I spent my life building others up—not tearing them down, not comparing, not competing—but cheering until the very end.

The beautiful truth about following Christ is that this is not a race where only one person wins. There are no podiums in heaven—only crowns laid at the feet of Jesus. We are all running toward the same finish line, all pursuing the same glory—His glory.

Friend, refuse to engage in competition within the body of Christ. Let’s cheer one another on with every ounce of faith and joy we have. When we finally stand before the Lord, my prayer is that we’ll be together—arm in arm, hand in hand—celebrating the goodness of God in all of us. Truth belongs to the Lord. Every gift, calling, or opportunity He places in our hands is not for our glory, but for the benefit of the body of Christ – and when we share joyfully, we share a treasure! ❤

Bearing One Another’s Burdens: a Two Way Street!

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Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

That little verse holds a very big idea. Paul is telling us that when we bear one another’s burdens—when we show love in tangible, practical ways—we are actually fulfilling the law of Christ. What law? The law that Jesus Himself gave us: to love one another, and to be known by that love.

It’s one thing to talk about love, but Paul takes it a step further. He reminds us to put feet on it. Love isn’t only a feeling; it’s an action. Bearing one another’s burdens means praying for each other, lifting each other up, helping each other, and taking action to care for one another in real and practical ways.

For me, this verse is both a comfort and a conviction.

This verse comforts me because it reminds me that I am not alone. If you’ve been with me for any length of time, you know how important relationships are to me. Of course, my relationship with Jesus comes first—but investing in spiritual friendships matters to me as well. This verse reassures me that community is part of God’s design. We weren’t made to walk through life alone.

This verse convicts me because it reminds me that bearing one another’s burdens goes both ways: it means that I share your burdens and also that you share mine.

The first part—helping others—that comes naturally to me. I’m honored to pray for someone, to encourage, to step in and help however I can. But the second part—the part where I’m the one who shares my burdens—doesn’t come as easily.

Can I be vulnerable with you? Somewhere along the way, I picked up a lie: “If I’m not perfect, you won’t love me.” Because of that lie, sharing my own burdens sometimes feels risky. What if I’m rejected? What if people see my weakness and step back instead of leaning in? Maybe you can relate?

The truth is, it’s hard to let others see the places where we’re weak – but if we keep everything inside, we’re missing the fullness of what God designed community to be. (I’m not suggesting that you tell everybody everything. That wouldn’t be wise. We need to use discernment and listen to the Holy Spirit about what to share and with whom. But keeping everything to ourselves isn’t wisdom either).

One of my favorite verses that reminds me of this truth is Psalm 103:14: “The Lord knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” God knows our weaknesses. He knows our limits. Still, in His kindness, He placed us in families, in communities, and in relationships with one another so that no one has to walk alone.

Sometimes we forget that perfection was never the expectation. Yes, some people may wrongly expect it, but God never does. He sees our weaknesses, and instead of rejecting us, He meets us with compassion. That’s the same heart we should have toward one another: grace, love, and a judgment-free space where burdens can be shared.

Isaiah 40:11 gives us a beautiful picture of how God deals with us: “He shall feed His flock like a shepherd; He shall gather the lambs with His arm, carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young.”

What a picture of gentleness. Our Shepherd doesn’t deal harshly with us. He carries us close to His heart. He leads us with tenderness. He loves us when we’re strong and when we’re weak, when we get it right and when we get it wrong. Friend, He delights in you. On your best days and on your worst days, you are a delight to the Lord.

When we live in that freedom—resting in His love—we can extend the same freedom to others. We can walk in grace toward one another, allowing our community to be a safe place where burdens can be shared.

John 3:16 is a verse many of us learned as children: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”

But we often forget to read the very next verse: “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him” (John 3:17).

Our salvation is a free gift. It’s not something we can earn, and it’s not something we can lose by not being “perfect enough.” There is no condemnation in Christ.

If that’s true, then our communities should reflect the same freedom. Bearing one another’s burdens should never come with fear or judgment. You should be able to come to me without fear, and I should be able to come to you without fear—because we’re not trying to meet an impossible standard. We’re simply living as beloved children of God.

If you serve in ministry—a pastor’s wife, pastor, small group leader, Bible study teacher—this can feel even harder. There’s a real (or sometimes imagined) pressure to appear perfect in front of those you serve. I’ve felt that too.

Let me encourage you: don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Don’t carry the weight of perfection on your shoulders. As you bear the burdens of others, also allow others to bear yours. That’s not weakness—it’s obedience.

When we do this, letting this burden sharing happen on both sides, we’re not just helping each other. We’re fulfilling the law of Christ. Let’s be the kind of people who carry each other’s burdens. Let’s create spaces where it’s safe to be honest, where grace and love flow freely, and where no one has to fear rejection.

We don’t have to be perfect to be loved—by God or by each other. And when we live that way, we fulfill the very law of Christ: to love one another as He has loved us. What a treasure that is! ❤

Don’t Wait: Make the First Move!

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Spiritual friendship is not just “nice to have” in the Christian life—it’s essential.

“Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10

Have you ever hesitated to reach out to someone, afraid of being rejected or misunderstood? Maybe you saw someone at church who looked a little lonely, or a mom at the park who seemed like she might want a chat. You thought, “I should go say something”, but then quickly talked yourself out of it…. Let’s be honest—friendship on its own can feel risky, but being the one to make the effort ups the risk for sure. 

Let’s start with the obvious: initiating friendship feels vulnerable. You don’t know how you’ll be received. You risk feeling awkward, ignored, or even rejected. In our social-media-saturated world, it’s easy to stay in our own bubble, where we scroll, like, and comment without ever truly engaging.

From the beginning, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). While that verse speaks to marriage, the principle really is broader. We are created for connection. Scripture is full of examples of deep, godly friendships: David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, Paul and Timothy, Jesus and His disciples.

Still, we hesitate.

We tell ourselves lies like:

  • She probably has enough friends already.
  • What if she thinks I’m too much?
  • I don’t want to come across as needy.
  • I’ve been burned before—I’m not doing that again.

All of those fears are valid—but fear doesn’t get to have the final say. When it comes to godly friendship, the return on investment is greater than we can imagine. God’s best for you happens in community; it’s the enemy of your soul who wants you in isolation.

Jesus Himself modeled what it means to initiate relationship – we talked about this on the blog a few weeks ago.  Check it out here if you missed it!

Jesus invited Himself over. Jesus made the first move. If the Son of God was willing to reach across social barriers, awkward situations, and the opinions of others to extend friendship, shouldn’t we be willing to do the same? The truth is, anything worthwhile involves some level of risk, and that includes friendship.

Friendship doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not something we stumble into—it’s something we choose to build. Like any investment, it requires intentionality, time, and sacrifice.

I loved morning car rides with my children on the way to school when they were small many years ago. There were a couple of verses that were on the usual rotation, and one that was repeated often was Proverbs 18:24. “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” That’s not just a cute quote—it’s a reminder that friendships grow when we’re willing to plant seeds.  

Sometimes those seeds look like:

  • Sending the first text.
  • Asking someone to grab coffee.
  • Sitting next to someone new at church.
  • Starting a conversation, even when you feel awkward.

Prepare yourself: not every seed grows into a deep friendship. Some fade. Some were only meant for a season. However, some grow roots so deep that they strengthen your faith, bring you joy, and sharpen you into the person God is calling you to be. Those kinds of roots bring forth good fruit, friends who will:

  • Speak truth when we’re tempted to believe lies
  • Pray for us when we don’t have the words
  • Celebrate our victories and mourn our losses
  • Keep us accountable and point us back to Christ
  • Lift us up when we feel down

That kind of friendship doesn’t just happen. It starts with someone being brave enough to go first.

Here’s the thing: you’re not the only one longing for connection. That woman you keep thinking about inviting to coffee? She might be praying for someone like you. The young mom sitting by herself at small group? She may be hoping someone notices her.

Someone is waiting for you to be bold. Not perfect. Just willing.

This week, take a step toward friendship. Plant the seeds. Show yourself friendly.

  • Send the text. 
  • Invite the person. 
  • Sit next to someone new. 
  • Smile first. 
  • Speak up. 
  • Be the one who reaches out.

Are you nervous or unsure? That’s okay, don’t let those feelings stop you. Friendship built on faith, truth, and love is worth every bit of risk and effort. Remember that Jesus made the first move toward us. He came close. He extended His hand. Let’s follow His lead.

Godly friendship is a treasure – but many times you have to make an effort to enjoy it’s benefits!

p.s. I’m continuing this discussion on the podcast this week! New episode will drop on Thursday. Subscribe on Youtube, Spotify or Apple Podcasts this week so we can connect again! Here’s the link tree so we can connect!