Spiritual friendship is not just “nice to have” in the Christian life—it’s essential.

“Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10

Have you ever hesitated to reach out to someone, afraid of being rejected or misunderstood? Maybe you saw someone at church who looked a little lonely, or a mom at the park who seemed like she might want a chat. You thought, “I should go say something”, but then quickly talked yourself out of it…. Let’s be honest—friendship on its own can feel risky, but being the one to make the effort ups the risk for sure. 

Let’s start with the obvious: initiating friendship feels vulnerable. You don’t know how you’ll be received. You risk feeling awkward, ignored, or even rejected. In our social-media-saturated world, it’s easy to stay in our own bubble, where we scroll, like, and comment without ever truly engaging.

From the beginning, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). While that verse speaks to marriage, the principle really is broader. We are created for connection. Scripture is full of examples of deep, godly friendships: David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, Paul and Timothy, Jesus and His disciples.

Still, we hesitate.

We tell ourselves lies like:

• She probably has enough friends already.
• What if she thinks I’m too much?
• I don’t want to come across as needy.
• I’ve been burned before—I’m not doing that again.

All of those fears are valid—but fear doesn’t get to have the final say. When it comes to godly friendship, the return on investment is greater than we can imagine. God’s best for you happens in community; it’s the enemy of your soul who wants you in isolation.

Jesus Himself modeled what it means to initiate relationship – we talked about this on the blog a few weeks ago.  Check it out here if you missed it!

Jesus invited Himself over. Jesus made the first move. If the Son of God was willing to reach across social barriers, awkward situations, and the opinions of others to extend friendship, shouldn’t we be willing to do the same? The truth is, anything worthwhile involves some level of risk, and that includes friendship.

Friendship doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not something we stumble into—it’s something we choose to build. Like any investment, it requires intentionality, time, and sacrifice.

I loved morning car rides with my children on the way to school when they were small many years ago. There were a couple of verses that were on the usual rotation, and one that was repeated often was Proverbs 18:24. “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” That’s not just a cute quote—it’s a reminder that friendships grow when we’re willing to plant seeds.  

Sometimes those seeds look like:

• Sending the first text.
• Asking someone to grab coffee.
• Sitting next to someone new at church.
• Starting a conversation, even when you feel awkward.

Prepare yourself: not every seed grows into a deep friendship. Some fade. Some were only meant for a season. However, some grow roots so deep that they strengthen your faith, bring you joy, and sharpen you into the person God is calling you to be. Those kinds of roots bring forth good fruit, friends who will:

• Speak truth when we’re tempted to believe lies
• Pray for us when we don’t have the words
• Celebrate our victories and mourn our losses
• Keep us accountable and point us back to Christ
• Lift us up when we feel down

That kind of friendship doesn’t just happen. It starts with someone being brave enough to go first.

Here’s the thing: you’re not the only one longing for connection. That woman you keep thinking about inviting to coffee? She might be praying for someone like you. The young mom sitting by herself at small group? She may be hoping someone notices her.

Someone is waiting for you to be bold. Not perfect. Just willing.

This week, take a step toward friendship. Plant the seeds. Show yourself friendly.

• Send the text. 
• Invite the person. 
• Sit next to someone new. 
• Smile first. 
• Speak up. 
• Be the one who reaches out.

Are you nervous or unsure? That’s okay, don’t let those feelings stop you. Friendship built on faith, truth, and love is worth every bit of risk and effort. Remember that Jesus made the first move toward us. He came close. He extended His hand. Let’s follow His lead.

Godly friendship is a treasure – but many times you have to make an effort to enjoy it’s benefits!

p.s. I’m continuing this discussion on the podcast this week! New episode will drop on Thursday. Subscribe on Youtube, Spotify or Apple Podcasts this week so we can connect again! Here’s the link tree so we can connect!