seven about love: #1

“Don’t be afraid, don’t despair.
Your God is present among you,
a strong warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back,
He’ll calm you with His love
and delight you with His songs.” Zephaniah 3:17 Message

God loves us. We know that in our minds, but often we don’t live that way. The Bible tells us we can come “boldly before the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). Let those words sink in: help in time of need. Sometimes we mistakenly think that we’ve strayed too far, that somehow we’ve moved outside the boundaries of the Father’s love and patience for Him to restore us, but this is simply not possible. To the Lord, it doesn’t matter why you may need help – He just wants to help! He loves you – you are His precious daughter!

Stay there for just a minute: it doesn’t matter to the Lord why you are in need of help.  His heart is to restore you and bring you back into intimacy with Him regardless of why you need help.  If you need help because of of your own mistakes, ask for forgiveness – “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).  If you need help due to circumstances outside your control, no need to feel shame – God is a loving Father.  He is not only ABLE to come to your rescue, He WANTS to come to your rescue! No matter where you’ve been (or why you’ve been there), He is happy to have you back, ready to welcome you home.

This sweet passage shows us how specific and personal the Lord can be with each of us.  Whatever we need, we find in Him. Think your situation is tough?  That’s okay – your Heavenly Father is tougher: He is a strong warrior! No need to be afraid, He is present and thrilled to be here with you in this very moment. Pour out your heart to Him, and let Him pour out His love on you. Your Father is welcoming you in right now. Are you broken or afraid?  Your Heavenly Father is also gentle, able to calm you with His love, draw you in and sing His song over you.

Knowing that God loves you and allowing His love to fight for you, give you peace, make you calm; allowing Him to bring you in so close that you can hear Him singing  over you – what a treasure.

Praying you find the treasure in God’s love today ❤

Jennifer

“I like to start the clap” :)

I teach music in an elementary school.  Several years ago, my handbell choir and my mallet band were invited to perform at a local theater, part of benefit concert concert for a local charity.  (Insert shameless brag here: you ought to see my 10 year olds play handbells – it’s impressive!  And my mallets – wow, they are really good!) Lots of local groups came to perform. We were really excited to participate, and we also also excited to be allowed to stay and watch the entire concert!

One of my students sat next to me during the concert.  He had a charming habit that I always remember: he would sit on the edge of his seat, so excited, with his hands raised to chest level and ready to go.  At first, I didn’t understand his stance (can’t he just sit still, relax, stay awhile?), but my little friend quickly explained: “Mrs. Spivey, I like to start the clap! I want to be the first one to start clapping, and the whole audience will follow me!”  It still makes me smile today, years later.  My student was quick to celebrate the success of others – what an incredible trait to learn so young! It’s a great example and lesson for us!

For my student, the concert was that: a concert.  It wasn’t a competition.  He was excited to be there and share his talents, and it didn’t take anything away from him at all that others were invited to share theirs as well.  His joy wasn’t diminished – in fact, it was the total opposite: he wanted to “start the clap”!

I love people who love to celebrate the gifts of others – they are a joy to be around, and super encouraging!  We have some great examples in the Word of people who were quick to celebrate. How about the dad in the story of the prodigal son?  When he saw his estranged son, look at his response:

“while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him” Luke 15:20 ESV

He immediately had his servants prepare a party – he said to bring the best robe quickly and gave them a list of things to prepare for a celebration (Luke 15:22-24).  He “started the clap”!

The prodigal’s brother had a much different response.  He was upset at his father’s joy, and somehow got the idea that a celebration of his brother took something away from him.  His father had to explain, “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad” (Luke 15:31b-32a).

Important to notice: the prodigal’s return didn’t take a single thing away from the brother  – nothing was reallocated, nothing was lost.  Actually, something was added: his brother, back in his life!  This was cause to celebrate, but the brother couldn’t because he made it all about himself.  Maybe you know someone who has adopted this attitude, centered around self.  Maybe you have been someone who has adopted this attitude, centered around self.  A friend gets a raise, gets a contract, gets an inheritance, gets a new car…. what’s the first thing that comes to mind?  Do you think, “Why them and not me?” or do you “start the clap”?

My student didn’t think that sharing the stage was taking anything away from us.  His joy wasn’t diminished because he wasn’t the only one invited.  He was happy to be there with everyone.  He did his best on stage, played an important part and did well with his group.   He then joined the audience and led them in “starting the clap”!  His joy was genuine and contagious.  He was ready to start the celebration! I love that!  If a 10 year old can do it, we can do it too!

The ability to value the gifts of others without allowing a root of jealousy to form – that’s a treasure. Romans 12:15 says to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep”.  Oddly enough, sometimes the weeping part is easier than the rejoicing part. I’m praying that you will find that, in this life, there is enough joy to go around.  I’m praying that you will be able to recognize that the blessings of God in someone else’s life do not take away or diminish yours at all.

I’m praying that you will be the one to “start the clap” 🙂

Jennifer ❤

I’ve been thinking :)

I’ve been thinking, and well, let’s be upfront right away: we probably won’t like this.  I’m going to use the words “we” and you” and “me” often – not trying to offend anyone personally, just maybe trying to drive home the point that we have all probably contributed to the good and we have all probably been guilty of contributing to the bad.  Maybe just demonstrating that we can all easily become part of the same hypocrisy.

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I’ve been thinking about being a “straight stick“. I’ve been thinking about how rare it is, really.

I’ve been thinking about Thomas Moore, Irish poet from the 1800s. Thomas Moore wrote, “For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.”  200 years later, it’s still as true as ever. (Thomas Moore, you nailed it).  Basically, Moore is making the point that our society first created a criminal, and then punished the criminal for being true to his/her upbringing.  Seems unfair, doesn’t it?  Yeah, it does. Let’s bring it home:

I’ve been thinking about “popular” movies, tv shows, music, things we allow to fill our minds and homes and time. Thinking about the foul language or obscene behaviors.  It might have been on our television or in a book we read or a joke we laughed at.  Some of the jokes were related to sexual perversion or immoral behavior, but it probably went over the kid’s head, so we let it pass. Some of the storylines were inappropriate, but we glossed over it because the movie was funny.  Some of the language was foul and offensive, but we ignored it because the action and special effects were unbelievable.

I’ve been thinking about all these accusations surrounding public officials and celebrities, accusations of sexual harassment and improprieties…. It’s constant, isn’t it?  Every day on the news, we are re-hashing yesterday’s accusations and introducing new ones.  I’m not defending it, and we feel the same way: it’s outrageous, it’s offensive, it’s wrong, shocking, sinful.   (You can fill-in-the-blank here, right?  This is specific enough).

I’ve been thinking about other people in the news, people whose choices we did not celebrate.  Tim Tebow – there was an article some time ago about how a romantic relationship came to an end because of his commitment to virginity and sexual purity (here).  I don’t know if it’s true, but I do know that this point wasn’t presented as anything positive or valuable.  We laughed at him because he made a stance on sex outside of marriage. Vice President Mike Pence – there was talk about how he honors his wife by refusing to be alone with another woman (here again).  Again, I don’t know if its true, but I do know that it was presented as a form of sexism, and there was even the suggestion that he made this choice because he can’t be trusted around women.  (What?) We attacked his character because he has made a commitment to a faithful marriage.

 

I’ve been thinking about how our society mocks morality and then is shocked by immorality. We laughed when the character on our favorite sitcom said it, we were horrified when one of our elected officials said it.  We ignored it in the movie and we were outraged when it happened in “real life”.  We spend so much time on “that which does not profit”(Jeremiah 2:11 KJV). Why are we surprised when the lines between entertainment and “real life” became blurry?

I’ve been thinking about James and how he says the Word of God is like a mirror.  Let’s read it together: “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was” (James 1:23-24 NKJV). Maybe we have forgotten who we are?  Of course, when the Word presents a problem, it also present the solution: “But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does” (James 1:25 NKJV).

I’ve been thinking that maybe we should make a new commitment to purity and raise our standards in every area. Hey, I know the point is extreme – and watching that inappropriate movie didn’t give anyone permission to behave the way they did.  But – when the same behavior is celebrated in one arena and condemned in another, it does seem as if we created the criminal and then punished the criminal act.  Maybe we should avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22).  Maybe we should try to be better than we have to be. Maybe we should keep our noses clean, even if it takes both sleeves.

I’ve been thinking about something Paul wrote to the Phillippians, “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into His most excellent harmonies” (Phil. 4:8-9 MSG).

Filling our minds with what is true, noble,  reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, the beautiful, things to praise…. Following this action with accepting the strength and grace we need from God to walk it out – that’s a treasure. 

Holiness isn’t easy.  Today, I’m praying that we’ll walk it out and that God will work each of us into His most excellent harmonies –

Jennifer 🙂 (p.s. next blog will be something easy, like my puppy 🙂 )

 

 

 

 

a straight stick :)

“The best way to show that a stick is crooked is not to argue about it or to spend time denouncing it, but to lay a straight stick alongside it.” ~ D.L. Moody

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When my three were little, my oldest could most definitely be the “straight stick”.  It would make my husband and I laugh, it would frustrate the other two; but every time one of them got into “trouble”, Tyler’s response was to get precious.  The minute a tantrum started in the grocery aisle, Tyler would catch my eye and give me his sweetest smile as if to say “see what I am not doing, mommy?” Mercifully, he’s grown out of this little habit (the siblings appreciate that fact, LOL), but we remember it and giggle sometimes!

Of course, what’s funny in a toddler can be pretty, well, un-funny in an adult.  We should be straight sticks all the time, not only when we see an opportunity to make ourselves look better in comparison toGod desires our best – not our better thanLet’s stay on this idea for a minute –

I have some people in my life who are “straight sticks”, and I love them.  I can always count on them to do the right thing, have the correct response, behave with grace and kindness, apply God’s wisdom to their everyday.  These “straight stick” folks do not “get precious” in response to the actions of others, they are consistently following Christ regardless of  the actions of others.

Paul says it this way,

“Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him” (Philippians 2:12-13 NLT)

These “straight sticks” in my life do show the evidence of their salvation with deep reverence and fear. Their example is Jesus, and they are not looking to be better “in comparison to” other people.  They are daily walking in faithfulness and living the example Christ set before them. They are inspiration to me!  A salvation that is evident -shouldn’t that be the case for every believer?  We should be working hard to “show the results of our salvation” because “God is working in us”.

Let’s read a few more of Paul’s words – too good to miss here:

 Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life (Philippians 2:14-16 NLT)

It’s worth emphasizing: Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.  Be a straight stick! If you and I had a chance to visit, we might talk about the people who inspire us.  I imagine that our answers might be vastly different (unless my dad is your inspiration too? 😉 ), but I also imagine that all of our heroes have one trait in common: they are consistent, they are dependable: they are straight sticks.

It’s a good question, a personal question, a question to consider in our own lives: Are we “straight sticks” all the time? OR – are we only “straight sticks” when it is convenient or easy or doesn’t make us stand out too much from the crowd? I think sometimes about my own life and example – am I truly walking it out?  Would I be embarrassed if someone found out what my favorite tv show was or how I spend my afternoons?  When I see Christians outraged or feel outraged myself about some “hot button issue”, am I quick to remember that all sin is the same to God?  While we are outraged about whatever protest is happening on the news tonight, are we also outraged about what is on our DVR or in the Netflix cue (enough to change it?)? 

Not having to change your behavior in response to the behavior of others, being consistent in your walk and showing the “results of your salvation”?  That’s a daily discipline.  Understanding that the Lord desires your best and not your better than, and being the “straight stick” in a crooked world?  That’s a treasure – a treasure that will bless the heart of your Heavenly Father AND bless the people within your sphere of influence.

Praying that you have “straight stick ” people in your life to encourage you – and praying that you are a “straight stick” to others as well 🙂

Jennifer ❤

 

and that’s what they thought, too :)

When I was little, I had a favorite book entitled “Fortunately, Unfortunately” by Remy Charlip.  The main character has a series of mishaps getting to a party: “Fortunately, Ned was invited to a surprise party!  Unfortunately, the party was a thousand miles away.”  My favorite was when he jumped out of a plane, but discovered a hole in his parachute – “Fortunately, there was a haystack!  Unfortunately, there was a needle in the haystack.  Fortunately, he missed the needle!  Unfortunately he missed the haystack.”  Made me laugh every time!

Our own lives can be a series of “fortunately’s” and “unfortunately’s”, can’t they?  Good news follows bad news and vice versa – the key is to stay centered on Christ and faithful through all seasons. One way to stay centered is watching our words.

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Numbers 13:26-33 is a very familiar passage to most of us, the spies scouting out the land of Canaan for Moses and reporting back.  It’s a fortunately/unfortunately situation!

Fortunately, the land was bountiful and plentiful! Unfortunately, the people were powerful. Fortunately, the land produces great fruit! Unfortunately, the cities were fortified. Fortunately the Lord was with them! Unfortunately, there were giants in the land.

The “unfortunately”s won the day, in spite of the fact that the land was already promised to them, in spite of the fact that one spy (Caleb) returned with great confidence in the Lord’s ability to help them conquer. Caleb told them, ” Let us go up at once and possess it, for we are able to overcome it” (Numbers 13: 30). Immediately following this proclamation of faith,  the other spies spread a “bad report about the land among the Israelites”.

Let’s take a look at the “bad report”:

the other men who had explored the land with him disagreed.’We can’t go up against them! They are stronger than we are!’ So they spread this bad report about the land among the Israelites: ‘The land we traveled through and explored will devour anyone who goes to live there. All the people we saw were huge. We even saw giants there, the descendants of Anak. Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too!’ ” (13:32 NLT)

Don’t miss what these spies just said: “we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too!

If these spies were doing their jobs, their presence would have gone completely unnoticed by the giants.  There would have been announcement, no conversation, no inquiry as to how the giants felt.  How did the spies know what the giants were thinking? The truth is, they had no idea what the giants were thinking.  When they created an imaginary dialog in their own heads, they lost the victory God intended. 

Fortunately, God is on your side!  Unfortunately, there are times when you convince yourself that you are “like a grasshopper”.  It’s those times when we feel insecure or insignificant or afraid that we begin to convince ourselves that the people around us feel the same way about us, and it goes downhill from there.

As recorded in the New Testament, Jesus teaches about the power of our words: “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says” (Mark 11:23 NKJV).  Just as easily as we can encourage ourselves with the right attitude/words, we can discourage ourselves with wrong attitude/words.

Keeping a good confession is key to keeping confidence in the Lord.  Take a hint from the “fortunately”s today: follow the Lord in obedience right away, with His help you are well able to overcome!

If you feel like a grasshopper, if you feel insignificant or alone, encourage yourself with the Word of God.  Nothing can separate you from His love and attention. Now that you know it, talk like it 🙂 Fortunately, God is on your side – and that’s a treasure! Praying you can encourage yourself today –

Jennifer ❤

 

 

for heavy burdens :)

I’m still in Isaiah 58 🙂 Want to visit this passage with me again?

Is not this the fast that I have chosen:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
    to undo the heavy burdens,
and to let the oppressed go free,
    and break every yoke? (Is. 58:6 NKJV)

yoke

I can imagine the oxen hooked up to this yoke. I imagine it is already heavy and uncomfortable, even before it is hooked to its load.

Such powerful words. In response, I prayed to my Father: “Lord, I do pray for bonds to be loosed, burdens to be eased, oppression to open to freedom, yokes broken…. I pray that You would show up and accomplish what we cannot accomplish without You on our side.  I pray that we would have the boldness to step out in faith and confidence, moving us forward to the very thing You are calling us toward…..”

your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard 
(58:8)

The phrase “your righteousness shall go before you” made my curiosity spark. That pronoun “your” wasn’t referring to the Lord, wasn’t referring to something belonging to Him.  That pronoun “your” was referring to me, to something belonging to me.  MY righteousness. My go-to is my old Strong’s Concordance when I want to dig, so here’s what I found there:

righteousness: Strong’s #6664: justice, rightness, what is right or just normal

(Let’s not skim over this phrase from the Strong’s: “what is right or just normal”.  You know, what is found in the Word of God is what is normal and right – we ought to get used to this prescribed way of right-living until it is our normal too!)

from Strong’s #6663: to be right, to make right, to cleanse, clear self, be or do justice, be or do rightly

Made me think: if it is MY righteousness that will clear the path before me, and if I believe my righteousness is rooted in the Lord…. As I do the next right thing, obeying the Lord, doing the best I can with the insight and knowledge I have, continuing to grow in Him – then the path is being cleared before me.  Seeking the Lord more fervently makes the path more clear. As I am doing what is right, I am believing the the Lord to cover my back (be my “rear guard” like 58:8 tells me). I am believing the Lord to come when I call.  I am believing the Lord to break yokes and free oppressive situations in my life and relieve heavy burdens.

That’s MY part: growing and going in righteousness.  The Lord’s part is ALL the other benefits there.  🙂

The Lord will guide you continually,
And satisfy your soul in drought,
And strengthen your bones;
You shall be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail (58:11)

I returned to prayer, with a little more desire to see the Truth of the Word come alive in my life: “Lord, I pray to You because I am in desperate need of Your continual guidance.  When I am in drought, even now, I need to BE a spring of water. I don’t only need to HAVE a spring, I need to BE the spring, rushing waters of life coming from Your fullness in me.  Lord, You know where I am bound.  Lord, You know where I am oppressed.  Lord, You know where I am yoked up in something You didn’t ordain in my life.”

Thinking about unhealthy yokes and burdens, thinking about being entangled, bound in areas where I was not meant to be bound, it came to me: It is a wrong thought to expect the Lord to send blessing to an area He did not ordain.  The Lord’s blessing begins at obedience. The Lord will not yoke Himself to our mistakes or to our past.

If your burden is heavy, it may be that you are in a season of growth and the Lord is there with you. Continue practicing righteousness, trusting Him to be there when you call, trusting Him to have your back.  He will give you strength and He will give you peace. However, there’s another side: if your burden is heavy, it may be that you have taken on something that God did not ordain in your life.  If this is the case, have the boldness to step away from it, ask forgiveness if you need to, and draw on the Lord’s strength to turn back to the right path.

If our burden is heavy, it is time to evaluate the burden.  Ask yourself and be honest: did God tell you to carry this burden? Is God giving you grace for this hardship? Sometimes the load is heavy AND the Lord is gracious to you AND you know you are making progress.  A struggle can be good for us.  A struggle can help us grow.  The presence of a struggle does not mean the absence of the Lord.

However – sometimes the load is heavy and while the Lord is present (He’s always with you), He is not necessarily yoking Himself to the burden. Why not?  Perhaps you have taken on a burden that was not yours to carry.  Perhaps God did not ask you to labor under that thing, He did not assign those people to you, He did not ask you to accrue that debt or make that investment, He did not ask you to make those commitments….. ideas that were GOOD, but were not necessarily GOD.

Being able to evaluate your burden, and being able to either trust the Lord in it or let it go entirely – that’s not easy.  Being yoked with God is a treasure.  Praying you find that balance today –

Jennifer ❤

 

 

for every action :)

Newton’s third law of physics states, “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”.  No disrespect at all to Mr. Newton, but did you ever think how the laws of man, even the laws of physics, don’t apply to God?

equal-and-opposite-reaction

 

The benefits and “up sides” of serving the Lord are many. God is generous and kind to us. I love Isaiah 58 – I read it and think about it often. Read this piece of the passage – I emphasized a few important words not be missed:

“If you take away the yoke from your midst,
The pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
If you extend your soul to the hungry
And satisfy the afflicted soul,
Then your light shall dawn in the darkness,
And your darkness shall be as the noonday” (Isaiah 58:9b-10)

The “if“s are my part – those are things that I need to be careful to do consistently.

“The Lord will guide you continually,
And satisfy your soul in drought,
And strengthen your bones;
You shall be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail” (Isaiah 58:11)

 

The “then“s and the “and“s are the Lord’s part.  If I do this, then He will do that and that. There’s always an “and” with the Lord – He’s all about addition and growth and increase!

We don’t have to perform in order to be worthy of God’s love – He loves us already, just like we are.  However, just like showing up at work and doing your job daily is key to benefits like paychecks and health insurance, obedience to God is key to receiving spiritual benefits.

You know what stands out to me the most today?  There are way more “then“s and “and“s than there are “if“s.  If I do a few things, the Lord will do LOTS of things.  If I “take away the yoke from my midst” (that means if I will release the people around me from the pressure/oppression of meeting my demands, do my best to operate in graciousness and peace), if I take away “the pointing of the finger” (if I refuse to play the “blame game”), if I stop “speaking wickedness” (well, you know what that one means)…. If I “extend my soul to the hungry” and”satisfy the afflicted soul” (if I willingly and happily share with those in need)…. then what will the Lord do? Take a look at this amazing list:

  • He will cause my light to shine in darkness
  • He will guide me continually
  • He will satisfy my soul when I am in need
  • He will strengthen my bones
  • He will cause my life to be like a well-watered garden, green and healthy and growing

Want some more “and”s?  Well, good news: there’s more!  Not just for you, but for those who are within your sphere of influence, those who come after you:

“Those from among you
Shall build the old waste places;
You shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach,
The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In” (Isaiah 58:12)

Simply beautiful.  If I operate in obedience, then my legacy will be one of peace and restoration, building foundations and restoring that which is broken…. The Lord will multiply our small actions into a ripple effect that continues on beyond us.

Please forgive me, Sir Isaac Newton: for my small action, the reaction was not opposite nor was it equal.  The Lord took my small effort of kindness and cheerful giving, and His reaction was abundant and multiplied, far beyond what I did.  You may have found the same to be true in your life, or maybe you’ll take this on as an experiment today and try it out: every time you take a step of obedience to the Lord, His reaction is so much better and sweeter and kinder than you could have reasonably expected.

Every single time you perform your “if”, the Lord will perform His “then” and His “and” on your behalf – and that, my friend, is a treasure every time 🙂

praying you find yourself on the sweet end of the deal today,

Jennifer ❤

the paralyzing pursuit of perfection :)

Paul wrote to the Philipians,

“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.” (3:12)

Paul communicated that he “pressed on”, even though he knew he wasn’t perfect.  There’s freedom in that phrase if you look hard enough – we’ll circle back and see it together!

Knowing that I love to entertain, my parents gave me both of my grandmothers’ formal china – and both sets are beautiful!  I love dishes, I love a well-appointed table, I love serving and blessing my friends…. Recently, I invited our church staff wives and board members’ wives over for a “tea” and I had so much fun serving on my formal china!

Let me take a pause here and tell the truth, before any of you get the idea that I’m some amazing housekeeper or hostess: I’m not at all. My kitchen is SO VERY ill-equipped, I’m not a good cook, I just wish I was!  What I like is having people over!   Anyone who has been to my house knows this is true – it’s just not perfect!  Just this past weekend, a friend brought over a crockpot of grits (de-lish!).  She asked me if I could put out the butter – guess what? I didn’t even have any butter in my fridge! Who doesn’t have a staple like butter? Me – me and my ill-equipped kitchen.  I don’t have a full set of measuring cups either – I’m winging it over here! What I do have is pretty dishes and a desire to be a blessing! Now that I’ve “told on myself” and there is no pretense between us, we can move forward!

Some years ago, I thought about the times I’ve been invited to someone else’s house. I wasn’t looking for dust or matching silverware or chips on the dishes – I was just glad to be there. I’m excited about the conversation and the comfort, and I’m thankful for the invitation – I’m glad to be with my friend!  Those thoughts led to this one: “just like me, most people aren’t looking for perfection, they are looking for relationship.” What I do have is a desire to be a blessing and create a comfortable space for my guests.  What I do have is a desire to enjoy their company and share my home. No perfection over here – but I sure like relationship!  Realizing that most people feel the same gave me freedom from the paralyzing pursuit of perfection.

I have friends who feel as if they can’t have a guest in their home – they think it isn’t clean enough, it isn’t nice enough, it isn’t fill-in-your-own-blank enough.  Sadly, this feeling of not-being-enough or not-attaining-perfection doesn’t stop in one area of our lives.  We can talk ourselves into “not enough” in any area: maybe we aren’t not good enough parents or maybe we are not good enough writers or maybe we aren’t good enough prayer warriors or maybe we aren’t good enough singers or maybe we aren’t good enough fill-in-your-own-blank-here.

Once we convince ourselves that we aren’t enough, the next step in that downward spiral is shame or embarrassment. We create walls between us and the people around us. We hide because we are afraid someone else might realize our lack.  From there, we step into comparison – and trust me, we can always find someone who IS enough and someone who CAN do successfully all the things we can’t do.  Finally, we convince ourselves that we don’t have anything worthy to give, and we stop giving altogether.

I have another thought: I think that we cannot put up walls between ourselves and people without also putting up walls between ourselves and the Lord.  If we are hiding and not using the gifts that God gave to us to bless others, isn’t it in some way disobedient?  I’m ready to circle back here if you are –

Paul wrote to the Philipians,

“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.” (3:12)

Paul knew and readily admitted that he wasn’t perfect. However, his very next words were “I press on”.  In spite of shortcomings, in spite of insecurities, in spite of imperfection, he pressed on toward the high calling of God in Christ. His is an example to follow – especially for a type-A-personality like mine!  I need that freedom from the paralyzing pursuit of perfection!

Let’s say it together, and commit to it: My house isn’t perfect – but I’ll still share the blessings I have and enjoy friends. My prayer life may not be perfect, but I’ll keep speaking to the Lord even when I can’t find the right words. I may not be the best singer, but I’ll continue making a joyful noise. I may have made a mistake today, but I won’t let that mistake stop my progress.  I’ll continue to press on, using my gifts in the best way I can today, trying to be a blessing in my imperfections. I’ll trust the Lord to fill-in-my-blanks and help me grow.

Being able to let go of the pursuit of perfection and just press on. You’ll find (in spite of your shortcomings) that your offering is a grace and gift to someone in your life. Freedom from the paralyzing pursuit of perfection? That’s a treasure ❤

Praying that you are able to press on today!

Jennifer 🙂

it’s not just semantics :)

I lead a small group at my church for “young ladies” – most of them are women aged 19-29, a few maybe older, a few maybe younger.  In between curriculums, we occasionally like to watch sermons on video, and we have a few favorite speakers that I keep “on hand”.

In one of our favorite in-between-curriculum-sermon DVDs, the speaker mentioned a certain “roadblock” or “hindrance” several times.  It wasn’t even the point of the message, but it seemed that she kept on saying it, using it as an example, mentioning it in passing on the way to the real point…. I’m going to skip naming “it” here. I don’t want you to get “hung up” on an issue and miss the forest for the tree.  Just “fill in the blank” yourself today – what hindrance to Christian growth comes to mind right now for you?  (Is it alcohol? Pre-marital sex? Coarse language? Fill-In-The-Blank?) Got “it” in your mind? Okay, then – that’s the one.

When the video came to a close, I brought “it” up. An issue that touched all of us in that room in some way, an issue that one probably wishes to avoid in the presence of the pastor’s wife, but I jumped in anyway.  Usually, its best to “tell the truth and shame the devil”.   One of these ladies had an insight/wisdom to share: she said that if you have to JUSTIFY an action or behavior, it is most likely an indication that you are being convicted of it in your spirit. How true, and it applies to everything we do. The Holy Spirit is a gift, and we need to follow His guidance and seek His guidance in all things.  However, like a fly gets caught in the spider’s web, we can get caught up in “words” and “perceptions” and “semantics” and become stuck.  Let’s clarify a few important distinctions to be made as we navigate through life, avoiding as many hindrances, pitfalls, roadblocks as we can:

JUSTIFICATION comes from our sinful self nature I’m not talking about the justification of sin by grace – I’m talking about the homophone justification, where we justify our own sin.  Where we tell ourselves that “it isn’t SO bad”, “it could be worse” or we make ourselves feel better by comparing ourselves to others (“I might have done THIS, but at least I didn’t do THAT”).  Truth is the only measure – the only comparing we should be doing is ourselves to the Word of God.  If you find yourself justifying your actions like this, that should be a red flag letting you know that something is not right.  Backtrack your steps.  Go to the Bible.  Don’t be afraid to tell the Lord that you messed up (He already knows). Don’t be afraid to tell the people around you (the ones who are watching you as their example, the ones who may be hurt by your actions) that you messed up.  Don’t stop at the words – turn around, repent, and get on with the business of being better.

CONDEMNATION comes from our enemy the devil Romans 8:1-2 teaches us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death” (NKJV). Condemnation is when an adverse or unfavorable judgement has been passed on you.  Condemnation is what you feel when you make a mistake, commit a sin, and the enemy of your soul (the devil) is right there to tell you: “you aren’t worthy, you aren’t lovable, you are bad”.  The devil wants you ashamed.  The devil wants you to hide.  The devil wants you to keep secrets.  He wants to condemn you and block your view of your Heavenly Father, who is standing arms wide open ready to love us in spite of our shortcomings.

CONVICTION comes from the Holy Spirit and is meant to gently guide us back to truth and transparency Hebrews 12:6-11 states, “My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God” (MSG).  While you feel the conviction, take every opportunity to feel the LOVE of God! If He didn’t love you, He wouldn’t care whether you were involved in sin or not. If He didn’t love you, He would leave you to your own devices.  When you feel convicted, feel deeply LOVED by the ultimate parent, who would rather you go through a moment of discomfort than an eternity of separation from the truth and the protection He offers.

WISE JUDGEMENT is an ability to see rightly and still operate in the love of Christ The word “judgement” has almost become a four-letter word in Christian circles as much is it in “worldly” circles. No one wants to be called “judgmental”, and we might even avoid telling the truth just to avoid being called “judgmental”.  Get over it!  The ability to judge rightly is a gift.  Determining a person’s worthiness by what you judge is being judgmental. Please appreciate the difference. Zechariah 8:16 states, “These are the things which you should do: speak the truth to one another; judge with truth and judgment for peace in your gates”.  Do not allow the fear of being called “judgmental” keep you from speaking the truth in love to yourself and to those around you.  Do not let the fear of being “judged” keep you from receiving truth from the Bible and from godly people around you.

Refuse to be distracted by condemnation (that’s from the enemy – reject it).  Refuse to be distracted by a wrong view of conviction/correction (that’s from the Lord – welcome it). Refuse to be distracted by a misunderstanding of judgement (it IS okay for one to recognize right and wrong.  It is NOT okay for one to determine a person’s value based on their behavior)

The word of God is a “light to our feet and lamp to our path”(Psalm 119:105). The ability to apply it correctly and continue to grow in grace is a TREASURE, though it doesn’t always come easily.  Praying that you recognize the Light and continue to press forward!

❤ Jennifer

pay no attention to that man behind the curtain :)

 200-3

Well, that’s how I wanted it to be this morning as I sat in my usual spot in the front row. Pastor’s wife, full of faith and confidence and spiritual example to the congregation…. and bawling her eyes out throughout the entire service.  To be honest, I’ve felt it off and on all week.  One minute, I’m strong and “it’s going to be fine” and “God’s grace  is sufficient” and “the Lord is my refuge” and all the right confessions of faith.  Projecting the “right image”. The next minute, I’m a puddle and I’m crying and I’m heartbroken for what was lost.  As much as I know the Lord is able to restore and rebuild and heal, I know that His faithfulness cannot be judged by my circumstances.  God is STILL faithful, ALWAYS faithful, no matter what I can see in the natural.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a green curtain to hide behind in my front row seat. So I cried, right out there in the open, in the front row, raw and exposed.

What happened this week?  Hurricane Irma.  All over our newly renovated-paid-in-cash children’s wing.

Oh y’all, trust me.  It’s SO MUCH WORSE than it looks, honestly.  I know it just looks like a hole.  I know what you are thinking: “Put a tarp on it” (we did), “Hire a roofer” (we will), “don’t you have insurance?” (we do).  I’ll spare you all the details, partly because I just can’t form the words without crying so hard I can’t see the computer keyboard. It’s just worse.

I’m mourning today. I’m mourning the loss of that beautiful new room.  It cost us so much more than money.  It cost a year of our lives. Hard work, hard people, hard labor. Days I thought would nearly kill us.  Days were I learned from first hand experience that people actually do leave the church over the color of the carpet. Honest promise – before 2016, I thought those were just stories people made up, some kind of ridiculous exaggerations to distract us from the work.  Now I know – the struggle was real.  (We didn’t actually lose anyone, but it wasn’t because the devil didn’t try).

I’m mourning the loss of what my flesh counted as provision.  We raised the cash for that renovation.  New sound, new lighting, new computers, new furniture, new carpet, the best we could do and cash every step of the way. That felt good.  That felt like blessing.  It felt like the blessing of obedience. (Do you see this conversation going downhill?  I’ll continue so you don’t miss it….) It felt like security.  It felt like a reward. It felt like, “since y’all did this, the Lord will do this“.  That felt like sunshine.  That felt like winning.  It felt like getting ahead. It felt like being the “head and not the tail” (in my misguided way of translating Deut. 28:13 in this situation).

Really, it wasn’t ANY of those things.  You know what it was?  It was a building. It wasn’t the sole evidence of God’s faithfulness.

What I want is to connect all these symmetrical lines in my life, tying my world up in pretty finished bows.  I like a finished project. I like a beginning and an end.  I like feeling the ground beneath my feet. When something is unfinished or unexplain-able, it throws me off balance – but only for a minute.  Then I remember.

I remember heroes of faith from the Bible who struggled AND were blessed. I remember that one of Jesus’ promises was that we would have tribulation in this world (John 16:33) AND that we would never be left alone (John 14:18). I remember Habakkuk writing,

“Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation” (Hab. 3:17-18)

That’s not really the verse that I wanted to write today – it doesn’t exactly draw the line from tragedy to comfort in the way my flesh wants it to.  Want to know what the truth is? The truth is, God’s faithfulness cannot be measured by human’s standards. On my fantastic days, God is faithful.  On my terrible days, God is faithful. His character is not defined or determined by my feelings.  I did feel good when we finished that wing (because feeling good feels good) and I praised God for being faithful (because He is faithful).  Where I “went south” was connecting my fleeting good feelings to God’s consistent goodness.I’m not only reminded in this moment that God is good, I experience the ultimate comfort because I know that God never changes, even if my circumstances change.  I will JOY in the God of my salvation!

It’s true that I am a person of faith. When I’m projecting the right “pastor’s wife image” there in the front row, when I’m smiling and my mascara is on my lashes (and not running in hot streaks down my cheeks), I’m operating in faith and trust in the Lord.  The congregation can look my direction and feel good that all is right with the world because I’m smiling at the right times and I’m allowing a few tears at the right times (oh the pressure).

It’s also true that I am a PERSON. When I am bawling out crying and I look like I just lost my best friend, I’m STILL OPERATING IN FAITH AND TRUST IN THE LORD. Mercifully, there are dear ones in our congregation (God bless them!) who get their confidence from the Lord. They realize that even though I’m the pastor’s wife, I’m still a fellow pilgrim on the journey forward.  These dear people know that even when I’m not projecting the right “pastor’s wife image”.  They know I can be sad AND full of faith all at the same time.

It’s such a relief to be able to be understood when I say, “I KNOW it’s only stuff. I KNOW that God will restore. It’s just that I liked that stuff and I didn’t want it to be destroyed by a hurricane”.  Some people understood – and when they hugged my neck, I could tell they felt just the same way.

This is one of my favorite psalms, and it seems to fit just right here:

“Blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
They make it a spring;
The rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
Each one appears before God in Zion” (84:5-7)

Passing through the valleys, being refreshed by the rain and scorched by the sun and moving forward in spite of feelings….. I might make it with the occasional mascara streak and I’ll definitely make it with smile wrinkles too, but I’m gonna make it.  We all will.

Standing on the promises of God – and I mean ALL of the promises, not just the ones that make my flesh feel good – is a treasure.  God is good, whatever your circumstances.  Praying you find a reason to praise our amazingly kind and constant Heavenly Father – even if it’s a “in spite of” praise – today

Jennifer ❤